in terms of independence in the eye's of c'link/government, they look at the nature of the household for you to be deemed seperated under one roof. the nature of your relationship includes sexual, financial and social interdependence (among other things) - if you are no longer involved in a sexual relationship, it's not enough. you have to be in the process of seperating totally and ONLY being in the same house because of limited reasons. one being that you don't ahve any money so you can't branch out on your own as yet until you get financial support

you would have to provide details of your relationship, and these are quite detailed. you'll be asked questions as to your living arrangements, how many people know you're seperated, how you are perceived in the eyes of society, what efforts you've made to seperate your finances (you mentioned having a debit card on his account - this would potentially work against you). you can explain that he is controlling in terms of finance and things, and that is what is stopping you leaving, but you need to be clear on what is happening, and be prepared to be knocked back if you are still, for the most part, functioning as a family. things like you doing all the cooking for all of you, eating meals together, doing the household washing (as opposed to doing yours and the girls and making him do his own). they will all work to stop you being deemed independent of him. you need to essentially show cause as to why you should be treated as housemates, not a couple kwim? in most cases, he would also be expected to complete the same forms to deem you seperated, so it wouldn't be a "secret" sort of thing. you'd have to show cause as to why it would put yourself or your children at risk if you let him know what is going on. this would need to be assessed by a social worker in most cases. and it would normally only be in cases of DV at a guess.

i've seen many more people knocked back than granted this status. and it's reviewed very regularly. it's intended as a stop gap while you find an alternative, not as a long term living arrangement kwim?