ive had two births, both very different.
the first i had a s&s at 41+5 and went into labour @ 4pm, laboured till 1am, freaked out, ended up with epidural, on the bed with wires attached to me and my baby, finally delivered @ 9am, it was horrible, i ended up having a bad pph, possibly due to the extended labour (bought about by the epi) and went to theatre, i felt all those things and more, dissapointment,disempowerment and traumatisation, i felt i had failed,my body had failed and mentally i had failed. i had trouble bonding with dd1, it affected my relationship with dh as he didnt really understand how i felt. i was so terrified of labour and having another baby that it affected our sex life.

my second birth i hired a doula, made sure it was going to be different, educated myself, i had a s&s at 41+6 went in to labour at home @ 1am, had a natural birth, no intervention, used the shower, natural pain relief methods, was well supported by dh and a fantastic midwife, delivered @7am, it was so empowering, i loved it, and it healed me. When DH saw the difference between the two experiences he finally understood why i felt so upset last time.