I feel so much of what you are saying although things aren't nearly as full on here. It is so frustrating to have had 3 trouble free years with my DD1 to basically battling DD2 into feeding at all. She sequels, fights, doesn't feed properly, bites, squiggles, squirms and also only takes one side so my boobs are REALLY lopsided too... like extremely. The only lucky thing here is that she is super huge so I don't have any stress over her not getting enough and we aren't expressing or in any need to push solids but it drives me batty trying to just get her to feed. It is soul crushingly hard when they refuse and fight.

I feel intense pressure not to give up though because of how I let her sister self wean and it feels unfair not to do the same... but it is hard to squash the thoughts that well, why am I bothering when she clearly doesn't want to.

You're doing so well I really hope things settle a little for you soon.