Dear Maz,

I know what you mean about feeling like a failure. I laboured for 14 hours and ended up with an emergency CS under a general anesthetic as the spinal didn't work. I met my baby several hours after he was born and it felt very surreal to go to sleep pregnant and then wake up and be handed a baby and have people say "this ones yours"! I know I am lucky to even have him and I love him more than I can say but I too feel cheated out of having a vaginal birth that I felt I was entitled to.

My DD is due in November and I'm going to do my absolute best to birth her the way my body intended. I'll not love her anymore but as she will be be last and I desperatley want the experience of seeing my child born and knowing my body is capable of birthing the way it was designed.