*hugs* Maz how hard. I definately understand the feeling of failure when having a c/s. I think the idea of planning your c/s this time is a wonderful idea. There are some birth plan's for c/s that have been posted before & I think it would be great to take that in & discuss the options with your OB. Things like holding baby skin to skin afterwards in theatre, breastfeeding, letting the cord pulsate... etc... I think these things can help in the bonding process.