Thankyou all, your posts are making me all teary, lol.
Yeah, I think my head played a big part in it. When I had the first internal the m/w asked me if I wanted to know the result or not she could keep it to herself but I couldn't help myself I needed to know. I shouldn't have asked And it was scary the longer it went on bc I kept thinking it's not meant to be like this, this isn't what I planned, it should be over by now. And "should's" and are no good.
Also, my contractions were 2-3mins apart from about 9pm on the friday and DD wasn't born until Sunday morning. I needed a break, I was too exhausted that the pain became too much to handle when I was handling it well earlier on.
Next time I will also know not to go to hospital that early. I didn't think it was early at the time bc contractions were 2 mins apart when I left and I was worried about them getting worse and having to travel in the car for 30mins to hospital. Maybe I will have to move closer to the hospital, lol.
I hope I can do it next time but I'm scared already so I will have to do a lot of research about it. I don't want to have the same recovery as this time, being exhausted from a long labour and then having surgery, that was awful. Lets just hope it goes a lot faster!