Thanks for your reply Sherrie.

I was at a friends house the other day, and they had recently gone to Tweedle with their 4 month old. In the middle of the party plan showing she was going she sent her DH into the bedroom to pat/shush their baby. It was so awful to listen to, I had to really control myself not to yell at the mother and to try not to go in and rescue that poor baby. I suppose though it is their choice, but I could tell the father did not have the heart to do it properly. My DH was talking to him after it, apparently he is just following his wife and has not questioned her choice, whereas DH will question me. Apparently she went to Tweedle because her baby was having "tantrums" and she does not want the pattern to continue. I tried to calmly tell her that imo it is not a tantrum, it is just her baby trying to communicate. Anyway she doesn't agree as she is a teacher (high school) and knows better. (no offense to other teachers, this is just what she is like).

Anyway I suppose what I am trying to get at, is that seeing that made me feel that what I am trying to do is right for us. It still does not stop me from feeling so sad for that little baby.