Sorry hun, no advice from me, just a HUGE hug.

I only had a short time TTC and I know how obsessed I was, so I can only imagine the heartache if it were to to go on and on. So sorry that it's hurting so much and I'm glad you've got loving people around you. I understand though, that what's happening is in your heart, not theirs and it's still lonely.

Hopefully other TTCers will be by shortly for some more constructive advice.

Blessings for a bubba in your belly in the very near future.