Hi,
I just wanted to say that i know exactly how you are feeling, having been there myself a few years ago.
The constant questioning yourself, your actions, others, your emotions-which as you are more than likely aware can change a dozen times in as many minutes. Yes, it sucks, it hurts, its exhausting. The problem is because we want it so bad its all we can focus on. My DH would mention to his friends that he was over the whole baby dancing thing as he was tired of fitting in with a routine and i agree, it did become more like a chore than 2 people expressing themselves and trying to create a new life. We tried for our 2nd son for 12 months before trying clomid, and praying that would be our saviour to no avail. After endless blood tests and screenings there was really no physical reason we shouldn't have been falling pg as all our bits worked and we already had one child, not that that made it any easier(i hope that doesnt sound selfish). As you may imagine that news can be both great but also just leaves more questions. We ended up walking the IVF path and after many more restless months we were fortunate enough to be successful on our 1st attempt.

People will tell you to stop stressing, dont try so hard, forget about it for a while. But for people TTC for a long period of time it does take control wether we want it to or not, you can't just flick the switch and stop trying or caring where you are at atm. I guess what i have been trying to say is that i know how you feel and want to give you a hugeand say that you can't help the way you are feeling and you ARE doing the best you know how to. To be honest I am still unsure how i got through my TTC phase as at times it still feels like a blur on some levels and other matters are so clear. As long as your DH, your parents and those you have shared your situation with are supportive and understand that some days will be better than others for you, you are very lucky, as well as being able to come here to BB and vent, talk and discuss your thoughts and feelings. I think having those things makes it easier too. I know chatting and sometimes even just reading on here made me realise that it wasnt just me and that others had or have been feeling the same and this gave me great comfort (not the fact others were going through it as well, more so, that i wasnt alone).
I truly wish you the very best in TTC and hope you dont have to wait long for your baby to be in your arms.