I'm so sorry to hear you are feeling this way - it's torture. It took us almost 2 years to have a successful pregnancy and that 2 years was pure torture. I can so relate to some of your thoughts (especially the 'did I eat enough greens today' & 'should I have another glass of milk')!!! The weird thing is I can't really offer any words of wisdom because thinking back I really don't know how I got from one day to the next, it just seemed to happen. I remember focussing alot on house renovations & we went on a few holidays too (yes timed them so we would be able to bd while we were away & relaxed). We also had lots of nice dinners out, nice fine dining places where you wouldn't take young children. I think perhaps I just took it one day at a time, tried not to think about next week or next month too much.

Just know that what you are feeling is totally normal and not unreasonable in any way - it means you are human and you have feelings. It is awful though - for us even bd got a bit 'boring' sometimes cause sometimes it happened when neither of us really felt like it but just had to. Poor DH under pressure, shame we don't have a whole week or two when we are most fertile.

I found I felt most relaxed and calm about things when I was on a powerwalk with my ipod and a few favourite songs. It helped keep me fit and helped control my moods too - I noticed days that I didn't go for my powerwalk I would feel really angry. After I made that discovery I made sure I walked every day even if it was in the rain and on hot days I just went early morn or after dark.

I remember feeling the same when I would see pg women or women with babies (for me pg women upset me most), so much so that when I was pg with Sam I felt like hiding sometimes cause I knew there was probably someone out there who was hurting when they would look at my pg belly.

Big Hugs - I'm not sure what you have been through but when I held my little man in my arms for the first time I knew that I had made the right decision my persevering with the ttc journey and somehow it made everything that I've been through worth it.

Please just believe that it will happen - that you get that BFP and healthy Bub real soon!!!

The ladies in the ttcaml (trying to conceive after miscarriage or loss) thread are great, I found so much support in that thread during my ttc journey.