I feel like i am ready now, i just want to officially ttc, but hubby and i both put down april as the month to start trying, i know april is not that far away really, but i just cant wait, when i try to talk to him about it he just keeps saying soon, but in the bedroom i get mixed messages.
Im on the pill and most time we double up to be safe and use protection, this last month i was not very consistant with taking the pill and each time we dtd i ask hubby to put one on, he is quite aware of the missing pills yet, declines extra protection, i mean what is up with that, its doing my head in giving me mixed signals.
The original plan was going to be to wait till my lil sis wedding, but her other bridesmaid has stated that she is ttc and not going to stop because of the wedding so i though why should we, so we moved the month up by 6 months.
But i just cant help it i just want to be pregnant, i just want to start trying i feel like i have ants in my pants just wanting it so badly.
The only thing that is stopping hubby atm is that he is out of work, and i know that is a fair call, all the other children were concived when we were financial.
And i know that hubby likes to get me knocked up so thats not his issue, im just being impatient, but i want it so badly.
Thanks for letting me vent or rant, im just slightly confused with hubby and his change of mind in the bedroom, it gets my hopes up.
Im a shocker for waiting to be UTD again....hence why all my kiddies are close
I think you need to talk to your hubby and explain how you feeling and see what he says. Mixed signals will do anyones head in and when its something close to your heart (like making a baby...LOL) you dont want to feel all over the place!
Arhhhhhhhhhhhhh, i just want to silently............ scream.
Now thats thats all over, i got my af on friday and explained to hubby, that unless i concieved on the 11 or 13 and still got my af, that im not pregnant.
He just said, hmm, and kept going about his business, hmm what does that mean?
I understand his reasons to wanting to wait to ttc, but in the bedroom he does other things then i try to talk to him and he just says, we have to wait.
I have enough pills to get me through december and we are supossed to be ttc in april, so i dont know if i should get some more or not, i would rather not as i think they are giving me issues down there, iykwim. So that would mean that in the bedroom i would not be covered by anything at all, so if hubby keeps giving me mixed messages in the bedroom, anything can happen, but if it does how will he feel, he wants to wait.
This is just doing my head in, i want to be pregnant, and i want it to happen when its right for both of us, not because of a slip up in the bedroom.
awwww ikwym!! i am soooooooooooooooooo needing to be UTD. At least your DH agrees on the next time. My DH and i are fighting over TTC#3 - one day he wants to and the next it's no way.
Sorry, i have nothing constructive for you, except empathy!!
The desire to be UTD is so strong and doing my head in. Although i know there is a long list of superficial reasons (money, the kids and thier ages and other stuff) to way against TTC #3.. i just dont care! You know?>
Things have never been perfect for us the 2 times before, but he is so obstanant (s?) to not TTC now.
Atleast he is being very cautious. Im not on the pill, i wnt off it as it was just playing bloody hell with my body... not to mention i always forgot one here or there... So we use condoms, but i hate them and am so sick of them. By the time he gets it on, i really reckon the moment has passed and it then becomes a chore!!!! But he refuse's to DTD wihtout one.... to the point we have argued.. lol but, i must say in the past week he has been a bit lax and has DTD but used the Pull out method which i dont know.... but anyways...
See we had set it for September... but before that had been set for december this year (when our youngest is 18 months), we changed our minds set it for sep 2009 but now we are here the baby bug has just bitten me again... what can i say??? im a woman! lol But he is dead set! ARGH... frustrating... i so undertsand where your coming from... except the missed message would be very annoying for you... Id sit him down if i was you and say it quite bluntly " im going off the pill, if you DONT wnat a baby yet... WEAR A CONDOM... otherwise.. we wil be TTC " :P heheh or something along those lines.... it will prove how serious he is about not wanting to TTC yet!
ok, so after a confusing few weeks, hubby has done it again!
I was having issues with the pill, it had given me my af for 2 weeks and cramps that were beyond belief, so hubby said, "i think you should just stop taking the pill"!
I agreed, and asked him how the supply draw was, he said "yeah there's a few", i told him that as i was no longer going to be on the pill, it was now also his responsililty to use protection in the bedroom, as it is his wish to wait till april, he laughed that off.
So the last day i took the pill we dtd, no protection, he said he wanted to do it one last time, while i was still on the pill, then a day later we dtd, no protection, i asked him to put one on, he said "just this once".
I dont mind as everyone knows that i want to be pregnant, i only asked him to put one on as i was trying to be respectful to him wanting to wait.
But he just confusses me, he still says out loud that he wants to wait, but in the bedroom he is giving me the impression that he just wants it to happen, iykwim, with out his consent, if that makes sence.
I just wish he could make his mind up, i like to know when im ttc, i like to enjoy that moment of could this be it, because we both wanted it to happen.
lol how frustrating BUT... least he is ok with doing it freely fully knowing it could happen. BUT i can see why your upset.... have you had a frank and i mean FRANK chat to him?
We too are TTC april 09 so know how hard it is to wait.... April is just soooo very far away... I would say the your DH just doesnt care if you fall now anyway, as he isnt been very pro active on not TTC....
I had heaps of mixed signs from BHL after DD2 was born as the WHOLE time I was UTD he said 3 is it I am going to get the snip once she is born... She came the snip never did, so after DD2 was 12mths I said I would like another baby and he said ok so he must have known in the back of his mind aswell that he wasnt quite as done as he thought he might be, even now BHL will know if I miss a pill ( it sits on the coffee pot to help me remember ) but it doesnt make him pull out so I guess if it happened now the world wouldnt end, I think as it normally takes us a while ot TTC to become UTD we get a little lazy...
I think you will just have to say that as you are no longer on the pill you are now TTC and see what he thinks about that.... It will either get him to use other things or not...
Oh my I am in the same position as you! my hubby says he wants to wait until april to TTC, but he doesnt seem to be too bothered by not using protection and he knows Ive now come off my pill! It mentally drives you insane in not knowing if you're going to or not going to.
Has anyone wondered why we all feel the need to be UTD again anyways? I have a girl and boy and everyone keeps asking me why do I need to have anymore and I still cant answer it, its just this feeling I have I want another one and I want another one now. Didnt plan on anymore after this one cause we knew he was a boy but boy have my feelings changed!
Well i said to hubby, since im no longer on the pill are we just going to say that we are ttc. He laughed and said not yet. This is doing my head in girls.
Since i went off the pill early i have my af again, so will have to wait a few more days to see what happens in the bedroom.
so to be continued...................................
Danielle- if you can find an answer please please tell me... i mean express post the answer to me cause i just dont get why i want more.... lol we are the same, have a boy and girl and with all our fury family member's really 2 kids is enough BUT i just have this feeling, this desire, and i cant ignore it. My Fiance actually said the other day he is feeling a little more cluckyier, especially after watching the movie "juno".. lol we hired it and wtached it.... MAN I JUST WANNA BE UTD! lol
Well af finished yesterday, and when we were in the shops today in the personal lane, i asked hubby if we needed any condoms as they were on sale, he said no and kept walking on, i know that there are not many in the draw at home.
So we will have to see what happens tonight in the bedroom, its no where near ovulation time, but if he goes with out protection as he is still verbally telling me that we have to wait.
Still doing my head in though, i also would like to know why the need to have children is so strong?
UPDATE update
We dtd and you guessed it.............no protection.
So im lying in bed after and running through my mind is a million questions, do i ask him if we are now ttc or do i wait till tomorrow, do i bring up any subject on ttc or babies or do i just let it be.
This will be #6 for us and even though i have 5 kids the urge to expand my family is so strong, i just want to know that we are officially ttc.
I dont know how i would feel if i got a bfp and we wernt "trying", i wish hubby would just say "it"!
In my mind i think i am saying that he is ttc, but it would be nice hearing it from him.
ahhh, Ladies why do men make things so hard, why are they so confusing?
Im starting to stress a little iykwim.
Lisa, honestly, he is playing a game. LOL in his mind it is fun... to you it is not. My DF is pretty adament he doesnt wanna TTC right now, and he says no when i bring it up, says we have to wait till next year etc etc AND when it comes time for DTD, he will NOT go near me without protection for the reality is it would happen. Your hubby obviously isnt phased really if you do fall.. which is unfair on you hey cause as you say you want it to be done properly! I feel for you... least my guy is giving clear signals, even if they arent the signals i want!!!!! lol
I just want to know WHY the urge is so strong when i can think of a million reasons why now sint the right time. I have even turned spiritual thinking there is a little spirit that obviously wants to come through and be apart of our family, and thats why lol.....
Missymoomoo, i am starting to agree with you that he is playing games.
I just now said to him that he is confusing me, before i could finish he said you think to much, i said to him that he verbally tells me one thing and then he physically does another thing, he said to me if you get pregnant great, if you dont great!
**** is he kidding me!
He also said next time he might wear protection, it depends on what mood he is in.
I know that if i got pregnant he would be happy, so why does he not just say we are ttc?
Why all this messing around?
I am so glad i have this thread to vent in or i would go insane.
Lisa, ****!! lol doesnt this totally represent and perfectly dispay the differences between a MAN and a WOMAN!! lol
I got my man's opinion on your dh last night and i told him very basically the deal and my man just stood there, totally confused he had that confused squashed up look and put his hands out and said "what the ****"... he instantly said, well. its a game... "he has turned it in a game"... "almost like he know's the power he has, so its a power game" ...
I totally agree with my man! Your DH is on a HUGE and i mean HUGE power play and LOVING every second... i dont write this with any malise trust me, i just cant believe the game he is playing, yet he cant see how serious it is for you.
Him saying "if you fall pregnant, great, if you dont great" well... in my opinion my love, what you guys are doing right now is NTTNC.... (not trying to not concieve)!
Maybe, what we need to do here is find a happy medium between you both... he doesnt wanna say your TTC, so you dont wanna put that label on it (as us women love to do, we love to have a label for everything in our heads/life), but yet there is no proactive protection against pregnancy happening so, why dont you just use the NTTNC label.... So, you are officially atm NTTNC!!
As you both have said, he will be happy if you did fall pregnant, so at the end of the day..... go with it. Its not like you are being dishonest in leading him to believe your protected yet letting him go in un-armed! lol.. he knows the deal.... and he knows the results that can come from his dealing's lol...
I reckon either way love, im exceptionaly jelouse and envious of you! Id even be happy with NTTNC'ing right now..... *sighs* but my guy is just so damn strong willed and adament. LOL.
I tried again last night to breech the topic and put all my arguments up, lol and i got a "im not saying we arent going to try, just not yet... next year"
*silently screams* lol
Hopefully i have helped somewhat, if not well. least im here to listen !!!
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just wanting to be utd again
) but it doesnt make him pull out so I guess if it happened now the world wouldnt end, I think as it normally takes us a while ot TTC to become UTD we get a little lazy...
as he is still verbally telling me that we have to wait.
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