Well me...
I asked hubby why he just doesnt say that we are ttc, he says because we are not.

We are how ever not officially ttc now and officially ttc in april.

He told me to stop over thinking everything and just go with the flow, one day he might be protected the next he may not, and as we are not officially ttc till april i should just go with the flow, when i told him that it is still messing with my head he said that it shouldn't, he told me to still chart when af arrives and when we dtd etc..
Just noticed this thread and thought I'd add my

I don't necessarily think your DH is playing some kind of power game. It sounds more to me like he just wants to avoid the pressure, and consequent possible disappointment, of TTC each month. I know that every r'ship is different and obviously I don't know you or your DH, but I can see how men might feel pressured when "DTD" becomes "TTC", YKWIM? Not that it takes away the pleasure or fun of it, just that it has a little extra weight (and wait!) to it. He probably also knows that there'll be a tense few days waiting to see if AF arrives and doesn't want you to be disappointed.

Maybe when he says that he wants to go with the flow, he really means just that.

One other question, when you have asked him whether you are TTC or not, have you told him why it's important to you? Sometimes it helps to break things right down and that way both of you can see the reasons for each other's thoughts, not just the thoughts themselves.

Good luck with your TTC/going with the flow