Hugs Kate,
I am pleased for you that you have come to a decision, I wish I could have offered you some support earlier. It sounds as though your GP was the right person to see. I hope you get referred for some counselling etc too. It must have been the hardest time in your life.

In reference to
i caused this and i just want to fix it myself
...it is not that cut and dried hunny - you remember that you can't take all the blame for yourself. Go easy on yourself.