We had a problem with DS getting bitten at day care.
I turned up to pick him up and he was COVERED in bites one of which was around the eye area, his eye socket was very bruised. He had many bites on his hands and arms which to me seems like he was probably trying to push the biter away.
Needless to say I was less than happy so I asked his carer what had happened, she said DS was bitten on the face then the hands/arms. I also asked why wasn't I called, this got no reply.
I left because if I didn't I was going to start screaming, anyway I called the centre when I got home and asked for a meeting to discuss what had happened.
My husband and I went along and it was a complete turn around, "oh we didn't see it happen" well thats a lie because the carer told us she saw it. Mind you the carer didn't say a word the whole meeting, the manager did the talking for her.
Anyway we basically wanted to know how is it he was bitten SO many times and on the face like that, were they not being supervised? We of course got no answers.
My child was left with no answers, no reassurance it would be prevented in the future, bruised and with a very nasty eye infection.
Personally I'm sick of hearing how hard it must be for the other parents, how hard would it have been for my child if he had lost an eye? All children have the right to be in care that is SAFE, if a child is making that unsafe something should be done about it straight away not after 10, 20, 30 incidents!
Now before I get flamed...DS had a problem in kinder/pre school and as soon as we heard about it we did things to change it, we changed what he ate, his sleeping, I talked to him every morning before school about what was the right way to treat his friends at school, etc. And you know what? We saw a MASSIVE improvement and turn around within a week!
There is a huge problem within Aus will bullying and physical violence in schools and it seems to me it starts early on when they are in day care because nothing is done about it. (not always the case, but I have seen it a lot, way too much)
If i was you I would be pulling my kid out if it happens again, it may be a pain but I wouldn't be waiting around for something more serious to happen.
toomanyshoes, it's always worthwhile to see the viewpoint of others.
At DS's nursery, we're told who has bitten whom. And as parents, we all feel VERY bad if our child has attacked someone else and apologise to the child and the mother. Nursery deals with it quickly and yes, when they told me then we sorted it out within a week: that's how it should be. BUT that doesn't mean that we should reserve sympathy only for bitten children. Parents of biters who actually care about their children feel pretty bad and work to overturn the problem. We shouldn't attack them too.
If the parent or the centre tries to blame the victim, then that is very wrong and needs to be dealt with. But a toddler acting out issues needs help, not denigration. And certainly not validation that their behaviour is going unchallenged. These children need more boundaries, not fewer.
All children have a right to be safe. That is why carers need to be watching what happens and intervening at the appropriate time - after the first attack or, ideally, before. NOT after 30 bites, not after the child has attacked three children... right away. If that isn't happening there is a dereliction of care.
If my child had been attacked as yours was, I'd be getting answers or reporting the care centre to the relevent body. Because letting children do that is very wrong, either through poor supervision or lack of action.
Lady Zaidie I never said we should only be feeling sorry for the bitten children...
But i honestly believe if a child is being bitten again and again and again (which is what the OP was talking about...) then more than "there, there, it will be ok" needs to be done.
at the end of the day, you care about your child and did something about it but there are plenty of parents who couldn't care less and they tend to be the repeat offenders. If the parents are working with the centre to fix it great! but if the parents don't, the child should be removed from care for the safety of the other kids.. If the child has a history of the behaviour and no one is working on a solution then why does everyone else have to wait around and 'see what happens'?
I just wanted to share my experience on this topic. My DD was in a child care centre where there was a child who was a repeat offender at bitting. He didnt' bite my child that often but she witnessed it. He would also hit, throw things etc. She would often come home and tell me that he had bit, hit, etc one of the children. I also noted a general level of aggression with some of the other children at the centre. After 6 months of my child being in care and not settling in care I pulled her out and put her in a new centre.
She is a different girl now. The improvement was dramatic and only took a couple of weeks. On any occasions where other kids were around she used to cling to me. Now she has faith that other kids can be fun and nice and will happily go off and sit with the kids at library or at playgroup. She wants to go to child care and says they are nice kids.
Do what is best for your child. Bullying had a huge impact on my daughter and the best thing I did was take her to a new centre with a much stricter policy on aggression. IMO 2 year olds do not need to be subjected to bullying.
Toomanyshoes, you should definatly report the centre. At the very least they should have contacted you as soon as the event had happend. I can't imagine how distressing that must have been for you to pick up your child and find them in that state.
So now the biter has started scratching, DD1 has a big red (was bleeding) scratch under her nose. I'm fed the hell up with this!! I'm moving her immediately. I'm going to put in my written notice how there is a huge supervision problem, at the cook is a racist (she referred to one child as "bog irish").
toomanyshoes, that's just horrendous. If I'd found DD in that state at daycare I think I would've started biting the carers! I'd report them for sure as LadyZadee suggested.
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