I believe that deliberate offenders need our compassion and forgiveness, and accidental offenders are sent by the universe (God, whatever..) to let us know we've got some work to do.

Like many others here, I hope to build in my children a resilience ans strong self esteem, so that offending words and actions will not be internalised into negative emotion, but bounce off and fall to the floor. I want to teach them that it doesn't matter if so-and-so doesn't like their hair style/clothes/friends/personality etc, etc. Do you like your hairstyle/clothes/friends/personality? Yes? Good, that's all that matters. No? Well what are you going to do about it?

I haven't fully thought this through, but are the things we find offensive the things that we somewhat agree with? Eg my mum comments on my housekeeping. Her comments get to me because I actually kind of agree - I wish I did have more time & energy to keep the place spotless. Whereas if she comments on something that I don't care about, like the fact that I'm a crappy cook, I just don't really care, lol.

So I tend to think that if you're offended by something, you have to look inwards to find out why. Being offended by someone else's actions or words shows that you've got work to do. Expecting others to always behave in a way that won't upset us is very self centered. It means we think they everyone else should know what our values/opinions/beliefs are, and must act in such a way as to never upset them - that's impossible. If you think that way you'll always be offended by things.

I do believe everyone should show respect, but the people who can't/won't/don't, aren't worth getting angry over.