Although you don't have to have the crap kicked out of you to gain empathy (but it seems to help), having the desire to understand someone else or a situation different from your own goes a very very long way.

We can all have an immediate reaction which turns out to be the wrong one, but stopping and thinking about it a bit more before you act/say will help alot too.

I still think putting yourself into service is A1.

You don't come across as unkind or thoughtless - is there something in particular that you want to change?