Wow in reading this thread, I see that there are a lot of other ways of viewing passive aggressive behaviour.

I come from a family that communicates through passive aggression. I don't go through one phone call to my mum or brother without it. They communicate with my aunts and uncles that way and most of my cousins.

I'm known as the "brash" cousin (noice). I'm known as "blunt" and "often rude" because I say what I mean. I don't see any reason to say "Oh! I would have never thought of it that way, thats different isn't it?" I just say "I've never thought of it that way, I think of it this way".... see the difference? Little cues... imagine your MIL saying things that are said to you and then you know whether or not its PA.

Yes, sometimes I'm oversensitive to it. I can't stand people trying to be nice in order to make sure their point is the ONLY way that is right. I really love a good debate, but when PA is brought into it, I bow out. I've been manipulated my whole life through PA, and I really can't be bothered dealing with it anymore.

If my DH was PA, it would be a different story... but my household and the way we communicate with our village isn't PA. There are members who maybe a bit PA, but they aren't generally in the "inner circle" of close friends. Not anymore...