I don't think you are at ALL mean. Sorry to chime in btw but your story really hit a chord with me.

When I had DS8, my MIL came over from Perth to Hobart and stayed with us for a few days and was a wonderful helper.

When I fell pregnant with DS7, she said she'd like to come over again and help out and because she was so helpful the previous time, we said yes and DH took out a loan to pay for her airfare. I was supposed to be induced on the 10th May (a Monday) and she was due to arrive on Saturday the 8th so that she could take care of our other baby whilst DH was with me. Well, DS7 had other plans and I went into labour naturally on the Saturday morning. DH met his mother at the airport with DS8 in his arms and announced that we already had a new arrival. She was incredibly shirty with ME for upsetting the plans....like I had any say in it!

Anyway, whilst she was with us, she did NOTHING. She didn't cook a single meal, DH cooked every meal the entire time she was there. She wouldn't even so much as put a load of washing on the clothesline, instead offering to watch the boys whilst *I* did it. She spent most of her time doing the puzzles in That's Life and Take 5 and having "nanna-naps" in the afternoons.

But what REALLY burned me, was when she went home and told the rest of the family how hard we had made her work. DH's SIL rang me and abused me for working an old lady so hard and sitting on my backside doing nothing. Er...like...hello, I've just had a baby, there are 15 months between the two boys...who has TIME to sit on their backside??

When I was pregnant with Zac this year, she kept making noises and dropping hints about coming over to "help out" again when Zac was due in October. I kept ignoring her and would nudge DH every time she raised the subject on the phone to him too. Unfortunately we lost Zac at 15w4d, but there is NO WAY I would invite her back again after last time!

Good luck. It's a horrible position to be in.

Lisa