One thing I noticed after we had our first baby was that is has almost become a social norm to not to have sex within the first few months after a baby or if you do get it, then it is a rare occurrence. We had sex about 3 weeks after DS1 was born and then when people found out about it (as it generally happens when people make crass remarks about him 'getting any yet?') and they were truly taken aback that we were back in the saddle so to speak. I think a lot of men are just told to bugger off and there is no doubt that it causes a lot of emotional tension between a couple after a baby and is probably one of the biggest issues post children that a couple deals with. Personally I think it is really important to try to put the effort into sex, or at least some hanky panky LOL so you can retain some of your pre-children identity and not lose yourself as a couple. Because the way I see it, if we don't put the effort in to maintain some sort of sexual relationship, what happens once our kids leave home? I don't want to be one of those couples that split once the last child leaves home, just because you realise once they have gone that you have nothing in common anymore because there is nothing connecting you to each other - and sex is a big part of that connection in my opinion. I totally get that for a lot of couples there are problems after birth that mean that sex is the last thing on their minds, but there are so many other ways to maintain a sexual connection without actual sex and we have to at least try.