May I please come back into this group?
When I last posted just after this was started I was talking about "will we or wont we TTC#2, and when"

Since then, we have come to a 99.9% decision that DD will be an only child. We are leaving a small window of opportunity to change our minds in the next few years, but it's a conversation that has very much been closed right now.

We're starting to have a few issues come up as a result of this decision, mainly from my parents (dad in particular) who just don't understand why we don't want another child and want an assurance that we will one day have another one, even if it means there's a big gap. I have told them we can't give them that assurance because in the end it is our decision only and their opinion is to be kept to themselves on the matter.

Also, the other day in the shops DD was visiting Father Christmas. She got shy and decided to sit there, next to him for 15 minutes with her tongue hanging out. "Santa's helper" made the comment that she must have a big brother at home who has taught her that. When I said "no, she's an only child" the woman's comment was "oh, poor thing".

Now that DD is almost 3 years old, I'm sure over the coming years this sort of thing will probably happen more and more.

Of course it's none of anyone's business if she's an only child, or if we'll have other children - especially nothing to do with a stranger!

There are other factors: My career is taking off, I had a traumatic birth experience, DH is prone to depression, I earn more than DH (always have, probably always will) so taking time off to have a baby would be a massive financial disaster! and neither of us (especially me) have that overwhelming desire to have a baby.

I like looking at other people's babies, and holding them. But rather than that pang I used to get before I became a mother, my feeling toward a new baby is now one of sheer dread when I think of how I felt during that first year of DD's life, and I still have distinct memories of the traumatic birth, and can even sense the pain I was in.

The longer we go with having one child, the more we both realise we only want one child, rather than starting to thing another one would be nice.

As I mentioned at the start, we've made a 99.9% decision on this, so because there is still a very remote chance we may change our minds in a few years time, we've decided not to take any permanent measures to avoid pregnancy yet but I am about to go on implanon for another 3 years (my current implanon runs out in April). Once that 3 years is over, if we still feel the way we feel right now then we probably will take a permanent measure (eg: I'll get my tubes tied probably).