Same donor or different donor for siblings?

[Indadhanu]

Well we've recently found out that our donor is no longer available so our kids won't be biologically related.

But, I do truly believe that love makes a family.
Not being biologically related doesn't mean they love each other less, as is the case in step-families, adoptions and foster care situations.

[JORACH]

Thanks for your comments everyone. I really appreciate you taking the time to discuss my worries.

I believe that love is what makes a family. Surnames don't really matter but I grew up with a different surname to my mum and I always want it to be the same when I was a kid. I think will might hyphen our surname so that our kids can be the same.

We are going to try for a known donor who will hopefully be the donor for all our kids. Going to try home insemination first.

Now all we need is to find a donor

[Indadhanu]

Why would there be different surnames?

My partner, myself and Jazz all have the same surname. I changed mine very easily, it was just one form, when I was pregnant.

[levi78]

I guess some people prefer to retain their names and pass on a hypenated name to their child - i like this idea - in preference to everyone having the same name. why is there the push for gay and lesbian couples to want desperately to be the same as hetrosexual couples in the recognition of everyone having the same name. Surnames do matter - but not everyone wants to give up their own surname and take on a partners - jsut for the sake of recognition.

Surnames indicate heritage, culture and where you come from. my background is important to me and i want to pass that onto my children - hypenated surnames are a good way of doing it without losing my name in the process.

i don't believe in changing my name to my partners - i wouldn't do it if i was married to a man. I made the mistake of changing my name to my partners surname at the time when i was 19 and it was the wrong decision for her and I.

Idon't necessarily think that in a nation where marriage is not recognised - simply changing your name so that everyone is the same is enough. I have no desire to be like everyone else.

[Indadhanu]

Fine for you but I was just suggesting it since you mentioned the issue of same surnames so

I changed my name for a number of reasons I've explained in other posts so I won't mention it again (but feel free to track them down) but it wasn't for a pseudo-marriage ceremony or to pretend we are the same or had recognition. Sometimes having surname as a lasting reminder of the family you came from isn't sunshine and roses.

[JORACH]

Neither of us want to change our surnames again. We've both been down that road and are happy to be back to our maiden names. We both like having the sense of belonging to our families.

I didn't feel that way about my maiden name for quite a few years which was why I was happy to change it when I was 20. But that's a whole other story.

So the only compromise now is who's surname goes first

I think it should be mine, but only cos it comes first alphabetically

[entreat]

Girlfriends of mine didn't hyphenate, but name an entire new surname out of their existing ones. IMO - it was better than the names they started with.