Homebirth General Discussion #18

[Lily Dust]

When I am on my phone, on tapatalk, if I click on the link to a new thread, it takes me to completely random threads.... Does this happen to anyone else??

I believe this is an issue with Tapatalk. I will flag for admin though and see if anyone has any other ideas

[Cricket]

Welcome Sterla!

Arimeh. You have absolutely no reason to feel like a fraud because your birth didn't work out as you had planned! You made good plans, you put yourself in good hands, and you and your caregiver listened to your body and went in to hospital when you needed to. Despite the highly unusual and traumatic circumstances you found yourself in, you and your baby were kept safe. Your kids will be OK. You can help them work through what happened too, and remind them that birth IS hard work, but it's totally worth it in the end.
Take time to work through what happened - it was pretty rough. Talk it out - we'll listen.

TheMrs. - don't feel like a downer for getting nervous. It's perfectly normal and reasonable to want some reassurance about your decisions as you get close to the big day. Check out the Midwife Thinking blog on VBAC - she has some really helpful info there. (Google should find it for you.)

For those who are feeling heavy and tired with pregnancy - I really recommend trying a bit of exercise! Go easy at first, but a bit of cardio did WORLDS of good for me! I had a lot more energy in my later pregnancies compared with my earlier ones and that was the biggest difference. It doesn't work for everyone - if you've got serious SPD you might not be able to do it, but if you're feeling OK, give it a shot!

Hope everyone else is doing well! Sorry I don't think I've caught up everyone here - life is a little chaotic at our house and spare minutes at the computer are scarce!

[Arcadia]

Welcome Sterla can't wait to hear more about your plans.

Massive hugs Arimeh. I always think of your birth as an example of Homebirth working: you had one on one care, a trusting relationship with your carer who listened to your instincts, then you used the hospital services when required to get a good outcome. People like you show Homebirth as a philosophy is not about staying home, it's a way of seeing birth outside the current 'regime' itms? I think when you have more time some counseling might help you debrief a but more.

Cricket!! Hello! It's great to see you in here again. Life with 7 kids must be busy and full. You're so blessed I am wondering where I should move to so I can keep having babies

The Mrs I will go back and read your other post...a shame it got looked over.

AFM I haven't seen my midwife in ages because I've been away/busy with house renos. I still haven't had the blood test she asked me to get, mainly cause if the whole GTT thing my dad was bugging me about. On that front I stopped talking about it, and when he mentioned it, my mum said 'but she's allergic to sugar' thanks mum! Not quite true but it does make me get thrush, so it was nice to be validated!

I think I love pregnancy at this stage. Baby kicks lots, I have energy, kids are excited and kiss my tummy. To think how much I hated it for a while seems bizarre. I certainly have the happy hormones now!

[Smoke Jaguar]

Just skimming quickly as I just got back from a couple of days away and need to get the kids once I've unpacked!
Arimeh - don't you dare say the 'f' word!! As for scarring the kids - I feel that's what I risk doing by being so debilitated with this SPD My DD is saying that when she's big enough and has a baby in her belly that it won't hurt, so it's definitely in her consciousness and I want it to remain there as a "it doesn't mean it will happen to me"!! By the time she IS big enough she'll hopefully know that births are all different and hers will be her very own package.
Teni - you did really well!! I'd write a complaint about the OB to the midwives and the hospital director. He really didn't sell the "come on over to the hospital system" very well, did he? How dare he treat you like that and just leave the room, no matter where you're planning to birth!
Bella - I'm not nearly as gracious about being pregnant this time as I was the last two! I'm 37 and was making great progress with my surfing and just went up a level in my horse riding...gracious is not my strong suit, but I'm coming to terms with surrender
I had my last surf the other day - I didn't think I'd even get to my knee, but once I I'd lifted my chest up the rest followed pretty easily, just the surf was ordinary. But fun, and surrounded by my supportive crew and we had a gorgeous girls' retreat, all round! I think I know who'll be asked to take part in my blessing way

[TeniBear]

I have pretty much everything I need in the house now! Midwives just came and left the birth pool, oxytocin, etc... TENS machine, which I'd forgotten I said I wouldn't mind trying if I need it... Oh goodness, so so very real now There wasn't even a problem when we tested to see if our kitchen tap can handle the hose connection, which I'd been secretly worried about. Now all I really have to do is wait and go into labour sometime in the next month

[Smoke Jaguar]

You're on the home straight!

[Artechim]

Arimeh, I have been fading in and out of BB land and can't remember if I posted in your birth announcement but what I really wanted to say was a big Thank you for keeping HB safe. You knew within your own self when things weren't right, had a knowledgable midwife who listened and you made the decision to seek medical help instead of continuing at home. That is perfect home birthing to me. The choice to do what was necessary rather than what you preferred saved your own life and the life of your son. I certainly don't consider that a failure

ETA, are you full term tomorrow Teni? How exciting! I love that bit right at the end when you know it could happen at any time. Good luck for everything xx

[nyigi]

Arimeh, I also wanted to comment.
I also planned a homebirth and ended up transfering to hospital and while it wasn't as extreme as your situation both my son and I also came close to dying.
I completely agree with what others have said, you have not failed at all. An unexpected complication arose that endangered the lives of you and your son and you and your carers acted brilliantly and managed to save both your lives. You did amazingly well.
It is extremely traumatic. It will most likely take you a long time to get over it. I think I'm now most of the way through dealing with my son's birth, 4 years later. But I know I still have some issues from it.
It will of course also have influenced your children and it must have been traumatic for them as well. I wouldn't worry too much about it though. They will probably get over it with time as well and you can help them to understand that it wasn't a normal birth and they shouldn't base their ideas of childbirth on what happened. I don't know but maybe they'll get a chance to witness another birth when they are a bit older. My mother assisted with a home water birth when I was 9 and I went to keep an eye on the labouring woman's other son. We got to come in for the delivery and that memory has really helped me to form a more realistic idea of what natural birth is like and to recognise that mine was not representative for all births.

Good luck and hugs

[Smoke Jaguar]

Cricket, the exercise idea IS the best! I can't do what other people can (I tried yoga over the weekend at my retreat and sat out most of it, and totally skipped Tai Chi) and I'm finding my own ways to keep active. Hydrotherapy is a godsend, especially with the first few sessions with a one on one with the physio. I love being able to move and not aggravate my pelvis. The surfing wasn't the greatest idea, but it wasn't the worst and I was desperate Today I skipped hydro because it was too beautiful a day to be in a heated indoor pool...I went to the beach. After hobbling down on crutches I had a gorgeous low-tide swim and did some of my hydro exercises in there and now I feel great. I knew what most of my problem was until a couple of weeks ago, and it was not being able to do anything to get my heart rate up. Warmer weather brings greater possibilities for me, and if you can then get into yoga, at least, because it will make you feel a million bucks. Good one, Cricket
HotI, sorry I missed it in my big skim yesterday! I don't know about foods you can take to reduce swelling, but to reduce the swelling you might need to take a really good look at what you're eating and see where you can cut down on the sodium intake. Sorry I can't be more helpful!
Sterla, you're a great candidate for a HB Having DS at DD's birth was such a decider for me - he still asks to watch the DVD of it!
Jennifer, that almost slipped by unnoticed...anothery?? Well, if your body isn't being disagreeable, then go for it! I'm out at 3 - I have spent my 30s in pelvic pain and I'm claiming my 40s back, in advance of their arrival

[Jennifer13]

SJ, haha. My body is still coping okay, although since the baby has shifted right down into my pubic bone and pelvis, I am kinda waddling. I agree that exercise is a big help. Love my prenatal aqua class. I am also getting in our pool every time the day is sunny. Still doing a fair bit of walking, two-three days a week I walk DD1 to school, with DD2 on my back. That is def helping my core muscles stay strong.

Teni - so exciting! DP got the pool out last night to check the hose connections and he's ordering his new air compressor (why just get something to blow up the pool, when you can get a full-on power tool version !)

I had a dream last night that baby was coming early. Honestly, she feels so low I think she will just fall out come January. I really need to start sitting on my fit ball. Her head is so low that chairs are very uncomfortable to get up from.

My blessingway is next week and my bunting flags just arrived today - yay! I'm also going to get some body painting stuff and let whoever is game have a go at decorating my belly. I like the beads idea, anything else I can organise though, that doesn't involve anyone bringing anything? It's a mixed bag of friends.

[Smoke Jaguar]

Air compressor! We didn't have one last time, but we got one after DD was born...I didn't even think of it! I'm sure DP would have, though. I reckon we could grab some strips of left over silage wrap (season is just finishing and I'm sure the dairy hasn't used up all its rolls!) for our hired pool liner AND ground cover...could come in handy, this farm living

[HotI]

https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...1/#post3379788

[Dot Face]

*subbing*

[TeniBear]

Woohoo, pool's blown up so we can check for air leaks in the morning The pump was a lot louder than I expected though! And a touch difficult to work out, though once I figured out the "trick" I was fine. Just wasn't pushing it far enough into the valve - and trying to use the wrong attachment I think we might leave it half-inflated in the back room so we don't have to have the pump on for long when the time comes. I just know the noise will scare the living daylights out of Amelia Its a bit smaller than I imagined, but I suppose it doesn't really need to be that large. Fits perfectly into my chosen birth space in any case

So, there's my update. How are the rest of you going?

[Eenee]

Hehe I obviously blew my pool up the hard way! I used a hand pump! Lol not easy doing that heavily pregnant! I leave it fully blown up in another room, as it takes long enough to fill it! When in labour I waited what like felt forever and ran the hot water out in the shower (luckily it reheats in about 30mins)
How exciting Teni, not long now!

My little man is going well, took awhile for him to settle as took longer this time for my milk to come in. I think due to the fact I had gastro when I went into labour and had barely eaten or drank in two days, so I don't recommend getting sick! I'm just exhausted as well, DH went to work the day after and so been doing everything on my own. Mum was down for a bit but other than that I've struggled doing it on my own. Frustrates and gets me upset that DH can't see how hard it is all for me to manage on my own. He actually told me off for co sleeping and said next week he'll have to go in his own bed to sleep. He woke me up when he came to bed mind you, and I hadn't slept more than 45mins since DS was born so sleep is precious. i just ignored him and pretended I was still asleep. He won't get up to him if he wakes so no way will I be getting out of bed as that will be even more exhausting!

[Arcadia]

I've been thinking of you lots eenee. Your DH needs a kick up the bum. Sorry, but you need more help and support. Going back to work after one day is just plain ridiculous! DH did that to me after DS and so when I fell pg this time I told him he needs to take a month off. No questions. It's too too hard otherwise.

[Smoke Jaguar]

Eenee, I think it's time for harsh measures to make sure you get your rest and some headspace from your DH. I think YOU need to tell him when he's going to the spare bed. You decide what night he'll start and tell him that you can't have him waking you up when you have hardly had any sleep and you are just as important as he is in the functioning of the family (I know my DP likes to point out how important he is for bringing in the money, so I tell him that it's a bit pointless if I'm not able to keep us running on the home front...a point he is understanding now that he's had to pick up a lot of the slack with me being out of action so early).
It's time Blame the hormones - I mean, he's left you for that hormonal influx period, and if he thinks he can just escape it and come to a made home he's got another thing coming!!

[*The_Mrs.*]

Everything is going well here. Getting nervous slightly and hoping she waits until the 16th so we can get through all of our Christmas plans but I know that's not how babies work haha! I'm also just nervous in general because I have no idea what I got myself into! I've started taking alfalfa supplements to help boost vitamin K. Other than that just hanging out. Lots of irregular contractions but nothing to actually get labor going. My first was born early term at 37 weeks so I'm hoping this one doesn't take after sissy