I typed a lengthy post a couple of days ago but something went wrong (my 'token' had expired ).
Thanks you to everyone who made suggestions, and thanks to Arcadia for your offer of help
I haven't found a MW yet. I have been thinking about my next step and reflecting on my options and the suggestions made by others in this thread.
I have also thought a bit about my conversation with the last midwife (I'll call her M). She sounded reluctant to take me on from the outset of the conversation - before she heard where I lived or that it was my 4th bub. The MW who recommended M told me that M is 'new to homebirth'. M didn't mention this though. I think her main concern with taking me on is the fact that she has had trouble finding 'back-up' midwives lately. Perhaps her 'inexperience' with homebirthing means she is reluctant to take me on without back-up.
All the MW I have spoken to seem to think that my labour will be very short. I understand why the MW who lives 2 hours away was reluctant to take me on (although she did consider it for a week!). And she obviously has enough work in her region. I also thought that the midwife who lives 75 mins away would end up taking me on, but I understand why she didn't. Her usual back-up is away in Feb (when my bub is due) and she is on-call for her caseload clients. She obviously has enough on her plate in her area. I understand, but I am still disappointed.
The MW (A) I had for my 2 homebirths (and hospital birth) lived 40 mins from me, but her 'lay' MW 'partner' (S) lived only 10 mins away. They shared the antenatal visits. At one birth, they arrived at the same time. At my last birth, A arrived 20 mins before the birth, and S arrived an hour earlier. For my last birth, we did prepare (as much as you can!) for the scenario that the bub would arrive before the MW's did. I wasn't worried if that happened (DH was though!) because I knew that they would at least be on the way. Two of my close friends who had the same MW's ended up birthing before the MW's arrived - so I had considered that it may happen.
This week, I have considered contacting S and asking if she would consider being my MW. I know that she is working as a doula at the moment, but I don't know if she has ever done any birth (in Australia) without a registered midwife. Or even if she would be prepared to. I spoke to DH about it, and he thinks it is a good idea. She has been there for the birth of all my children, and I feel confident in her abilities. I just feel a bit nervous asking her. I guess she can only say 'no'! (as all the others have!).
I have also considered contacting A again and begging her to consider taking me on. I spoke to her when I was 12 weeks preg. and she told me that she had 'retired' from homebirth about 2 years ago, and is now working part-time as a hospital midwife at my local hospital. The MW 's she suggested have either 'retired' from homebirth or left the area. During our conversation, she seemed to think that I would have trouble finding someone and suggested that I book in to the caseload/community midwifery program just in case - at that time I was still blissfully ignorant of how dire the situation was, and didn't even consider contacting the caseload program. How naive I was!
Thanks again for all your kind comments. Beans I am really sorry to hear that we are in the same boat.
I just contacted the lay midwife, S, that has been at all my births. She has just started working with the 'new-to-homebirth' MW, M, who didn't want to take me on because of the distance!
This is fab! S only lives 5 or 10 mins away from me now. S told me that M is reluctant to travel to my town, so S can do the antenatal appointments and has a great chance of arriving to my birth in plenty of time. So M doesn't have to worry about that. Yay! I am feeling really hopeful about this. It all rests with M now. I hope she agrees. I have left a message on her mobile, telling her that I have spoken to S. And, even better, S and M have a meeting tonight anyway, so S will be able to talk to her.
I am feeling really positive about this. I think I am going to get my homebirth after all!!!!! And I feel really good that S will be there. She has been at all my births. I have total faith and trust in her abilities. She is so incredibly intuitive. I wish I had called her sooner. Although, I get the impression that this arrangement/partnership is a very recent development. So maybe I have contacted her at exactly the right time.
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