Hi Kittykat
You poor thing. I also have kids to two different dads. My older three are to my first marriage. It can get very tough at times ! The first thing i would do is see about getting your DD on either evening primrose oil or if you know someone that does herbalife they have a product called tang kuei which is awesome ( maybe even look on eb#y for it) i know that helps as i used to be a distirbutor. That should help in settling her hormones a bit which will make the household a better place for everyone.
I definately wouldnt let her go to her fathers to live , i refused to split my kids up when eh and i split, he wanted our son but not the girls. So i said they all stay with me until they are old enough to support themselves or finish school! It also makes them ralise that they are still very much wanted in my new marriage and life. It can be very hard sometimes to find something in common with daughters when they go though all this, I know i have had my ups and downs with my dd 13, so maybe just find something thats for the two of you, even if its just a cup of tea and chat about her fav book or something. Most times its a cry for i am feeling left out here! I hope this helps some. I really feel for you.
Cheers