Hey kittykat for you hun! Its so tough in your situation. Mine no longer have any contact with their father (his choice) so it actually makes life a lot eaiser now. But when they did have contact everything was my fault. If i came to pick them up early cause he had something else to do it was my fault (unfortunately this was most weekends) he would tell them they could do things knowing that they weren't allowed to do them at home just to stir things up here! It worked at first but in the end they learnt that what he says does not go in our house and as this is where they spend the majority of their time they need to behave themselves here. We split when my eldest had just had his 7th B'day and my baby ( no 3) was only 10mths old. he told me i couldn't last and nobody would want me with 3 kids (i was with him at the age of 15 and preg within 3 mths of seeing him) so i believed him, but i left with no support and i survived. I also found a man who loves my kids as his own and we got together about 7mths after i left exh. We have survived through a lot of stuff caused through the ex but thankfully our kids have always seen my hubby as their Dad and have never thrown it in his face that he isnt.
I don't know what advice i can give you other than to stay strong on what you believe is right and keep plodding along. I know some days its hard to see through the turmoil, but you will get through it with your daughter by your side if you just keep trying. Does she like to help with the little ones ( not sure how many kiddies you have) i know my eldest dd loves to spend time with our youngest ds(he seems to be the only one she gets along with some days).
Maybe the time she has with her dad will give you all some time to calm down and give you some time to sort out another approach. Sometimes time can do wonders.
Is there anyway you can organise time to go to the movies with just her, i know my dh did this with our eldest dd (13) as they were struggling to find some common ground and it worked for them.
I think that sometimes we get so busy running around after teh littlies that we forget to give the older ones that special time ( and its even harder when they seem to have constant attitudes). It is definately tough raising kids and its even tougher when you have to be the one to give all th dicipline while the other parent gets to be the fun one.
We are always here to cheer you up when you need it.
:hugs:
for you hun! Its so tough in your situation. Mine no longer have any contact with their father (his choice) so it actually makes life a lot eaiser now. But when they did have contact everything was my fault. If i came to pick them up early cause he had something else to do it was my fault (unfortunately this was most weekends) he would tell them they could do things knowing that they weren't allowed to do them at home just to stir things up here! It worked at first but in the end they learnt that what he says does not go in our house and as this is where they spend the majority of their time they need to behave themselves here. We split when my eldest had just had his 7th B'day and my baby ( no 3) was only 10mths old. he told me i couldn't last and nobody would want me with 3 kids (i was with him at the age of 15 and preg within 3 mths of seeing him) so i believed him, but i left with no support and i survived. I also found a man who loves my kids as his own and we got together about 7mths after i left exh. We have survived through a lot of stuff caused through the ex but thankfully our kids have always seen my hubby as their Dad and have never thrown it in his face that he isnt.
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