My DP is in a similar circumstance with his ex (they have 2 kids 5, 2.5 yrs between them).

In our defence I will say that the ex isn't very good at handling life in general on her own as she's always had someone to do everything for her. She visits long lost friends out of the blue and leaves the kids with them so she can go out with her new man (and then is uncontactable when the friend tries to call her and tell her 'E' is sick). 'E' has learning difficulties (like her mother) and needs special attention in school - but to our knowledge nothing has been diagnosed.

Since being with her new man they have lodged a complaint at our work about DP - and due to where we work - we were not able to make face to face contact with the ex as it could complicate the investigation of the complaint. She never answers the phone, rarely returns msgs, we've sent registered mail and still haven't heard back from her.

It's been 7 mths since we've seen the kids and due to shift work - DP only has one weekend off in 6 weeks. So not a lot of time, but it's time all the same. There are also times when on school holidays he can spend mornings with them before he goes to work and phone calls etc. I know it's not a lot - but it's all he can do.

Last Thursday the ex answered her phone and said 'E' is getting counselling (over their break up) and the counsellor doesn't think one weekend in 6 is good enough - so we won't be able to see the kids over Xmas (and E's b'day which is just before new year). I am in doubt over whether the counsellor even exists.

We caught up with DP's mate Thursday evening who saw the ex at the shopping centre about 6-7 mths pregnant. And 'E' told the mate that 'Dad is dead'. Please tell me no counsellor would tell a child their father is dead, when it is not the case ...I am thinking the ex can't handle the situation and to simplify her life is keeping my DP from seeing the kids.....


Tan - as already suggested I'd have the counsellor send a letter to that effect to the ex, and see what he does from there, but I'd certainly still let the day trips with Nan continue...It is a bit sad that in the time he is able to spend with DD that he goes elsewhere and, um...yeah.

Thanks for posting this topic. It has made me think twice about the whole 'parenting order' thing - as if this counsellor (in our situation does exist) they could be bought in as a witness which could go against us (as your lawyer said) and then we'd legally have no rights to see the kids.
The only way we could have them more is if they stayed home with me while DP went to work (which is just as good as DD being left with her nan i guess??)....