My DD has just turned 10, her Dad left us before she turned 2.

I have been lucky enough to remarry a lovely man who has raised DD like his own, he has been with us since she was around 3.

I went to Emmas school councellor at the start of the year as i was concerned about her moods when she was coming home after her weekends with her dad, she would often just start crying over nothing etc. AS it turns out her Dad would end up leaving her with his MUm and go of and spend the night with his partner leaving my DD waiting the next morning for him to return.

Tan
Can I tell you that EXACTLY the same situation happened to me when I was the same age as your DD. I never saw a counsellor though and I did have a sister 2 yrs older than me that used to come with me to dads.

I used to hate going to dads as we would just go to grandma's house and dad wouldnt spend time with us only his partner at the time. We called her the dragon. She was not nice to us and wouldnt let us play with anything. I will never forget after her marrying my dad she tried to make me call her mum and one night she wouldnt let me go to sleep until I called her mum! What kind of deranged person does that to a child! We saw her pour hot coffee all over my dad once and I really think she had a few screws missing from her brain. (My dad is no longer married to her by the way).

Anyway...we kept seeing dad for weekend visits every second weekend as the court ordered but when we reached high school, my sister and I kind of stopped going. It was easier to say no then as we had things on at friends houses and other commitments so lots of excuses.

it is great that your daughter is opening up to you about what is going on around at her dad's house. You and your partner must be doing a fantastic job raising her.

As for suggestions as to what to do, if you are on speaking terms with your ex, I would say to him that he can take DD out for lunch or to the movies and then drop her home again. Until your DD is comfortable with her dad and he builds some trust back up with her I would not allow them to have her overnight.

It may even be worth giving DD a mobile (one that she can only call your number on) so that she can let you know if she is feeling hassled or something.

I hope this has helped in some way. Big to you and your daughter.

Leesa- get a copy of this in writing from the counsellor or ring the school if its a school counsellor. Both parents have a right to the information.