should i go to brothers home

[sue1386]

soem good points. i have done alot of emotional work around many things inclusing cutting ties and forgiving, but as you say it needs to be done over and over. even with the work it can still trigger huge trauma.

my ex was very violent and dishonest professionals call him a master conartist, so of course i have nothing to do with him.

we tend to live alot in the present but this has triggered alot of trauma for us.

i guess i am kinder than my brother and to suffer so much alone with a brother nearby is a huge trauma for us even if you want to work it as maybe wrong that why did we ahve the expectation taht if we were suffering so much constnatly that my brother would show some care or releif. tahts your values its not ours. for us it has been and is a huge trauma.

we build our lives, we do our best, with so much going on , but truly those who have support do so much better those who are spared some experiences and helped ot have basics when raising children can do so much better.

dealing with this topic is not helpful actually to me. its just retraumtising me. but thank you so much to those of you who had very on track helpful words such as the comments from smiles 4u about how you thought the son was coming back from war or something, with this fuss, and that yes its not worth going because it is a huge trauma to suffer that much and have a brother right near by who didnt help releive comfort when the chips were so down .we go on with our lives and try to understand , forgive, focus on what we can do , but when it is in our face and pops up again it still carried huge trauma for us. it woudl be great to work towards jsut accepting that thats how he is.

i'm glas you ahve alot of good form your mum and can see other hurts in context. we dont have good from my brother just huge pain of how much we went through right under his nose with no response or udnerstanding or releif.

those who went through terrible times are in shock about governments or neighbours or people who did noththign to stop or help. it is a huge trauma.