Oh JoeSpratt - you and I are feeling the exact same way, if I hear one more person say, oh well at least you have Amelia - sorry but it's not a consolation, the utter yearning for another child is so strong. I hate the thought that as an older mum my daughter won't have a sibling to keep in company with when I'm in a nursing home!!! I am beyond sad and I'm not coping well either, I understand what you mean, Amelia has 3 year old kindy at 12.15 pm and while I love her to bits I am hanging to drop her off. I just want to be alone, friends want to visit etc., I don't feel like being around people at the moment, yesterday I took Amelia to dancing thinking it would be good to get my mind off it, only for one of the mums to walk in with her week old baby and she sat right next to me. I burst into tears, I felt bad for her but I just couldn't help it. I'm sorry you can't try naturally, it would be silly for me to as well with all my issues but we just don't want to spend any more money on IVF either, it's so hard on the finances. I had to put my dog down (she had leukemia, 12.5 years old) on Monday, my daughter came up to me today with a picture and said, don't be said mumma, I have drawn you a picture of Molly and Nugget in the rainbow. I just burst into tears, I just can't stop crying I don't know how to handle these emotions, just being told your eggs are too crap to conceive is so hard to accept huh.
Whatever happens JS please know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers and I hope you and I can both get our miracle somehow. Life throws curveballs but when are you able to throw them back and say enough?!
Bookmarks