Keen - thanks, the counsellor was very helpful. I've been to a couple of them so far but I think she was the best. I'll be going back to talk to her again when things feel like they're getting a little too much.

You and Carrie were talking about people's responses - I think you can work out within the first five seconds of telling someone about your situation whether they will be helpful or not. Some people are great. They immediately seem to have a feel for things and just offer their support. Others immediately feel the need to offer a platitude or tell you some bull**** miracle conception story that doesn't help at all. I know that sounds a bit harsh but I think all I'm really wanting from people is acknowledgement. I'm not asking them to solve the problem and make it all better.

Perhaps it is part of my ultra-pragmatic (some would say pessimistic) outlook on life which doesn't lend itself to high hopes very easily. During this whole journey, there were a couple of incidents that marked a turning point for me. The first was going to see Lyndon Hale. That meant that something concrete was actually being done which did wonders for my mental state. The second was reading a book which explained in popular science terms the reasons why conception is actually quite difficult to achieve. I realised then that it was probably my eggs which were letting things down (I still don't know that for sure) but it made sense and finally I stopped blaming myself.

Hayseed - you certainly sound very organised with the money. I have a little stashed away but like I said, it is mainly Jeff who is worried about it. I know that if I have to find money, I will because it just has to be done. I agree that it is a shock for people to realise that they have to come up with the money up front and THEN try to get it back from Medicare. I don't know why a better system can't be organised. Since that threshold thing was introduced, I notice that I seem to be getting more back from them. I think the laparoscopy put me over the line last year so that was very convenient.

Actually I have fewer gripes with Medicare than with Medibank Private. Seems like they don't want to pay for much at all!

Carrie - I know what you mean about the sort of people who seem to be having kids at the drop of a hat. Man, it is hard to look at people like my next door neighbours who don't give a stuff about the two kids they have and have just managed to have a third. It's really frustrating.