Peta, I'm sorry to hear about your BFN. Better luck next time.

BG, you are so incredibly correct, yet again. The problem is that while I know I need to put myself first, it just isn't easy. How do you tell your mother that she can't come and stay for a week when you'll be finding out the result of the current IVF cycle without actually telling her there's a current IVF cycle? How do you tell the other side of the family that you don't want to travel hundreds of km to see the whole family because I have absolutely no desire to spend Christmas with people I don't know (I've met DH's brothers once each, one SIL once, the other SIL never, two nieces never at all, and the other niece and nephew once), nor do I have any desire to tell what amounts to random strangers about IVF (yes, I know I tell random strangers about IVF here on BB every single day - totally different to face to face communication!). How do I tell my family that I have no desire to spend Christmas with them because evidence is pointing to my sister having a special little announcement for us all. How do I protect myself from that without incurring the wrath of my mother? How can I be honest about how I feel (which I need to be), when exposed to that sort of thing... if I'm right, it will be done publicly, flamboyantly, and DH and I will have no escape, no respite and mum will lecture me about being a snotty little brat if I don't overflow with joy and enthusiasm...

*sigh*

I just can't see how to do it. I know I need to put myself first, but family is making that so much harder to do. I don't want to tell any of the family about the current cycle (due to their tendency to call and ask before we're ready to tell), but it appears that it's the only way to make them give us the space we need... except it just doesn't work!

I'm about to head into another long and ranty vent here. My psychologist doesn't get back until the 18th of December, I'm really struggling with all of this, and I hate the fact I'm already having anxiety attacks about Christmas in early November!

Anyone have any advice here?

BW