LTTTC after Miscarriage and Loss

[T-hopes]

Hi ladies! Hope you don't mind if I join you in this thread... I know most of you from TTC after M/C or Loss thread but think its time for me to move in here with the Long Timers....

For those that dont know me, here's a little of my story.... I fell pregnant first try in June 2009, DH and I couldnt believe how blessed we were as I had watched my older sister battle with endo/ PCOS and IVF and always assumed that we would have to go down that road too... anyway our world fell apart on the 10th of Sept when we went for our 12wk scan only to see our lifeless little angel on the u/s screen, needless to say we were both absolutely crushed and shocked as we had no idea that our little baby had fallen asleep inside of me.... I have suffered from deep depression since and isolated myself from a lot of people. I find just when I have enough strength to be social, I get smashed down with another pregnancy announcement from friends and as Im sure you all understand, it hurts to damn much

Anyway we have been trying since Sept with no luck, we have tried all we can for this stage... chinese herbs, acupuncture, pre-seed etc... we started seeing a new FS last month and I had a lap, hysteroscopy, dye study and d & c two weeks ago... The doc found that I have Stage 3 Endo so Im hoping that was our problem and things may start to work now its been cut out but the endo was on my bowel/rectum area apparently so Im not sure if it was the problem as we dont see the doc for another 6 wks! DH has had his swimmers tested but we are still waiting for the results!

I just dont understand why things arent working after I fell pregnant 1st shot last time! I am young, fit and healthy, it just makes no sense to me... they keep telling me its stress but I have friends that have been thru the same experience and managed to fall pregnant within months of their m/c.

Anyway thats my story in a nut shell....

Hi to all the ladies that I do know... Murray, Ferrals, Alice, Crafty, Sunbeam, Matthews mum, porsche....

Hope you are all doing ok, no matter what stage you are in xx

[murraycod]

Thopes, Huggs to you my Darling, you are so very welcome here, you already know most of us here and the girls you have not met yet, well they are great too X
This thread has not been open for very long, but the bonds and friendships that are made here are strong.
So honey welcome, glad you decided to join us X
I am still popping by, I do lurk a bit in the other thread too, but have trouble keeping up with everyone, so I made this thread my home X Hope you feel you can too X

[Alice]

Ferrals, I asked my FS about that after our last IVF when we got 5 grade 1 blasties by Day 3 and only one Grade 2 to transfer on Day 5 and none to freeze. The nurse coordinator told me that after Day 3 it's up to the sperm but my FS flaty disputed it saying it wasn't that simple. On one hand I want to believe him and on the other I don't. I've rung SIVF today to get the pathology results sent to us so we can take them to the TCM practitioner and see what she thinks as she says often there are problems that get overlooked (like your DH's morphology) that can be picked up by going through the pathology more carefully and not just seeing if the results fit the normal range - whatever that is.

Sunbeam, those TWWs are just like two year waits sometimes! And it is tormenting not knowing if the progesterone support is doing one thing and your body another - I really feel for you with noticing every little thing, how can you not?! Hoping for Thursday with fingers crossed x And I loved reading about your angel garden today - they are with you, always.

MatthewsMum - you made me laugh with that picture of us all brandishing HPTs and OPTs at Crafty's docs! Ah we're a mad bunch in here, thank goodness for all of you lovely women! As for the antibiotics, well it can be a REALLY good thing to be on them just before a transfer and in fact they are used at SIVF (I have only just found out) for women with one remaining tube because of possible low level infections that accompany blocked tubes etc that can have big issue with embies sticking. So nothing to worry about there at all and certainly can't do any harm anyway! Counting the days down with you

MurrayCod, Thanks for your positive take on things, I guess I've never thought about it like that before!! Hoping for the very bestest happiest news from you next Tuesday and totally completely understand your fear around it but hang in there and think of all the women in your other thread who have felt the same and gotten through it and are on their way to bringing their babies home. You can do it!

T-hope, I think MurrayCod said it beautifully (as usual!) so I'm just going to say that I'm glad you found us - you are most welcome here. I'm glad the op went well and I hope this next three months sees you moving on to the BB threads (did they tell you that after your op about the next three months being really good for TTC?). Really sorry to read about the endo being at Stage 3 and glad they got it when they did. I also had endo in that area and it can affect things with the inflammation it causes and also you would know that it sheds like the lining of your uterus every month...with no where to go...so that can cause problems so all in all, great that it is out and when you can fall pg then hopefully you will be free of it. Thanks for sharing your story with us

Porsche, any sign of AF?

Trea? Sevie? How are you both?

No news here 'cept I had the most beautiful phone call this afternoon - my god daughter wanted to tell me that her first tooth fell out (she is turning 6 in a few weeks) and my god son couldn't wait for her to get off the phone (he's 2 1/2) so he could sing me his new favourite song "I want to hold your hand" by the Beatles! Aww those kids, I love them to bits!! Absolutely made my day and made me think how lucky I am to have all the little people I have in my life.

[Alice]

On and PS Ferrals...all I'm going to say about the peeing is....interesting ('cause I know you're not getting your hopes up) but nevertheless....interesting

[ferrals5]

Hi T-Hopes,
Glad you came to join us we are a great bunch here we are all struggling along and having a hard time and seeing the constant stream of BFP's with all the ladies who just pop into those threads just does your head in please don't get me wrong they deserve them and i am happy for them it is just painful to women who are having a hard time with getting pregnant and month after month are subjected to more disapointment this thread is good we have all been trying for a long time and we all have other issues that make things harder so i think we will all apreciate how fantastic it will be when anyone in this thread get's their long awaited and deserved BFP i hope we can offer the support you need and i am sorry to here you are struggling with depression i myself have felt at times i was slipping after the loss of Abbi i still struggle with the descion i made and every day i say to myself am i now being punished for that.
Some days it is hard to face the world if i could stay at home and hide away i would but i need to be ok for my boys if it wasn't for them i don't like to think where i would be right now

Sunbeam-not long now i hope you are the first of a lucky streak for us.

Alice-after talking about all the tempting i took mine this morning and it was 36.38 WTF that is very low for the 2nd half of my cycle it is usually in the 36.7-36.9ish area so what is going on there maybe that would explain why i havn't had my usual pimple break out my progeterone might not be doing what it should be F#CK why did i bother? stupid me remember i don't care this month just waiting for my IVF cycle GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!.

[Porsche]

Hi Ladies

THopes - I'm glad you found us here. The other thread was doing my head in a bit. But I think I've found my spot here lol. Thank you for sharing your story it helps to know what every one has been through.

MurrayCod - I can't wait to hear about your scan. All digits are crossed. I'll be having my IVF appointment that very same day!

Sunbeam - I agree it sounds like an anovulatory cycle to me as well. Dh is like ah well that's ok not to worry lol. Easy for him to say :P. I'm hoping you are having symptoms for a reason. I cann't not read in to then lol.

Alice - No Af hasn't arrived. I'm supposed to be due around the 26th but I don't think she'll arrive. I'lk ask Dr DeAmbrosis for something to help her come. That's assuming I don't O between now and next Tuesday.

Ferrals - I agree with Sunbeam & Alice about the peeing. It's all interesting!

Alice - No AF hasn't arrived but in saying that as I mentioned above I'm not technicaly due until the 26th according to FF anyway. I usually have a 35 day cycle but that is on Clomid. Normally I have no clue what my cycle is like. I'm just going to have to take each day as it comes because I don't know what will happen. My temps are all stable around the 30.02 - 36.11 and definately no + OPK. I might give up on them and just DTD every second day.

[Alice]

Ferrals, don't panic about your temp - one dip doesn't mean your progesterone is all over the place, it's when it goes up and down and up and down in the second phase that it is a problem (which is what my first chart looked like, a zig zag the whole way along). When I spoke to the TCM practitioner yesterday about the dips I've had in my second and third charts (which are much less dramatic than my first chart) she wasn't concerned at all. She said if you have interrupted sleep (which is what happened to me this month), or get a chill from a cold day, or take your temp much earlier than usual (which I had done one month) etc, it can cause anomalies. So if your other temps are around the same for the second phase (which mine are starting to be which is a big improvement) - it isn't a problem and your temps are nice and high mostly so you are OK. OK? Please don't fret over it and give yourself a hard time - your biggest hurdle is your DH's morphology (which sounds like will be much improved with all the changes he's made), you've get plenty of eggs, so if you this cycle doesn't work and you get to IVF you'll hopefully get lots of blasties and that will help with the genetic probs. xx

[Sunbeam]

Hi Murrycod - thanks for dropping in I was getting worried about you. I have everything crossed for your scan on tuesday (and every scan after that ) We will all be thinking of you. When I was really sad I had decided I would not even look at my first scans so I totally understand your fears. I'd be there holding your hand if I could.

T Hopes - welcome to our new thread. I hope you feel more at home amongst us long timers

Ferrals - stop it, you were doing really well not caring this month so don't start now!!

Porsche - just keep going anyway. I got pg the second time on cd24 and saw a chart on FF of a lady who got pg on cd65!! You just never know.

Have a good day girls

[ferrals5]

Alice-thanks i feel better.

Sunbeam-lol ok i am back to not giving a rats rahzoo!

Murrycod- LOL you stalker i miss you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much.

[Porsche]

Hi Sunbeam

Yeah I stalk the FF pregnancy charts too lol. The problem is I don't have 60 something days to wait and hope for the best lol. That's a whole extra month! I'm tired of waiting now we need to be more pro active. If Af hasn't come by the end of next week then I wil ask for something. I'll mention it on Tuesday when we see Dr De Ambrosis and see what he has to say. Can't we just hit the fast forward button?????

[Alice]

Porsche, I'm with you on that!! I think we'd all like to hit it, right now!!! Less than a week to go for your appointment

Sunbeam, you have a good day too

Ferrals, phew!

Love to everyone x

[Possums]

oh, i haven't been on the forums much for a while, and just noticed this thread...this is where I think I fit now

Hello to you all!

murraycod- good luck for your scan! It's so scary I understand.

We have just resumed trying, after an enforced year long break due to my Graves Disease ...we plan trying naturally for the rest of this year, and if no miracle, but to IVF for us.
AF is due in about 5 days...I am 10DPO and caved and did a HPT today....only one line. I know it's early, but I just dont think anything has happened this time round.

[Porsche]

Porsche, I'm with you on that!! I think we'd all like to hit it, right now!!! Less than a week to go for your appointment

Sunbeam, you have a good day too

Ferrals, phew!

Love to everyone x

Hahaha Knowing my luck I'd hit the self distruct button by mistake. Yay 6 days to go whoo hoo. getting abit excited now it so so close.

Hi Possums Welcome!! Wow how did you handle a 12 month break. I can't stand the thought of 1 month break. Hopefully you are here for a short time and you get your miracle!