Mon, Leis, Keen & dinky...

I know it wont make you feel any better, but I know too after trying for well over a year to create #2 (different father to #1) My Dh had to put up with lot's of stirring, jeering & negativity from so called friends reagrding his ability to perform his manly task & get me pregnant. It was very, very difficult for both of us, as I love my husband to pieces & I know he adores DD#1, but she is not his biological daughter (he'd never say that though) but friends of ours often stirred him about my not being pregnant yet...

My Dh went through periods of anger, sporadic crying & lot's of tantrums all directed towards me... I took it personally that he was angry at me for falling pregnant prior to meeting him & already having a child, it started to eat into our realtionship as I felt guilty for having a child & not being able to now create a new life with my hubby..
It was so hard at times & I wondered where we were heading, yet those people teasing him had no idea what it was doing to us & we went to things together & pretended we were all cool, infact Dh started saying he wanted it to take ages so we could practise heaps more, but really it had affected our sex life alot!
I decided to tell DH I wasnt ready & instead made love with only myself knowing I was O'ing soon, so as to take pressure off him... Although we had never had any testing done to find out why it wasnt happening...
Then we fell preg & I lost bubba on Dh's birthday, we spent the next few weeks at home over Christmas as emotional wrecks... Then miraculously we were preg with #2..topped trying & just loved my hubby...
Our friends know now maybe what we went through as now after the fact we can talk about it, but then it was still so deep & raw..

I have great hope for all of you gorgeous wonderful women & I know my friends never realised we lived, slept & breather TTC.... I guess we do all put up walls to protect us... All the best in the future to you all, I wish your friends would understand, but I have no idea how to make them more sensetive to such issues... I wish i had those answers & more for you all....