LTTTC Two Week Wait - Dec to Jan

[Moonflower]

Hi Terry! Thank you so, so much. What you’re saying is absolutely correct. And the sane, rational part of me knows it to be true. Sadly, the “crazy pregnant wannabe” part of me keeps sticking her ugly beak in and whispers in my brain all sorts of negative things. I think I will have to print out your words of “there are no wrong or right symptoms” and read them whenever Crazy Lady rears her mental head.

MC, you can have my thrush (ewww….) and I’ll take your cramping. I’ve also had the constant cramping (I think more mild than yours) and so I could care less if I got more. You know, I read somewhere that it is the Crinone that causes the cramps. Damn you drugs! (You can’t see me, but I’m shaking my fist in the air!) Do you think that you are more “crazy” about this tww than any other? I feel like I am. Every other tww I’ve had has been an anxious time but now I have so much more to read and think and wonder about. Is that what it’s like for you too?

FGS, I see you’re sneaking in here and that’s okay by me. Don’t let us scare you. We need you to be the sane one. We took a vote. You’re it.

AFM ladies, I am in a particularly good mood today. I’m not sure why. I can only put it down to all the prayers my Mum, Dad, s-i-l, DH and I are saying. Perhaps God wants me to use this time to practice being patient. *sigh* For me, that’s the hardest thing because I’m not, in any way, shape or form, patient. Probably a good idea to learn seeing as I want to have children, huh?

I’m gunna send some of my good mood vibes to you both. Hold fast ladies. It’s a bumpy ride!

MF xx

[murraycod]

Sure is a bumpy one!!!!

Just had a bawling my eyes out session with DH and I weirdly feel better now.
Yes this Crinone has a lot to answer to!! I spoke to a nurse from Repromed and she said that the Crinone does make you feel crampy, and I am obviously one it really works well on!! She also said it makes us feel low and negative, but it's all good. She made me promise to put my feet up and RELAX and chill out. She also warned me it was way to early to poas if I was wondering (she read my mind) bugger!!XX

MF hope you are well and resting up XXX

Oh, I have 1snowbaby at Blast stage. Slightly discouraged that if this cycle is no success, I will have to do anoth stim cycle, and wont be able to do that until May. Was hoping to get a FET in before then, but oh well this is the game I spose XX

[Moonflower]

Good morning MC.

I’m glad you got some of your tension out and that your DH was there with you. Sometimes all we need is a good cry, huh? I love that the nurse busted you for wanting to poas! Ha! My DH has banned me too.

How do you feel about being told to relax by your nurse? I mean, it’s all well and good but if you’re like me, you have things to do! My DH keeps telling me to relax but I can’t – I’m better off doing stuff. Sometimes I turn it on though, just for the craic. Like last night when I stood up to get my tea and I was all “Oh, don’t you worry. You just sit there. The twobies and I will do it!” He was worried for a nano second before I started laughing. He said that if we get a +ve result on my BT next week, he’s going to do everything. How sweet. In theory, being treated like the Queen of Sheeba is great. Realistically, it will do my head in. I’m too independent.

How come you have to do another stim cycle before the FET? I don’t know about that stuff and I don’t have any snowbubs so am curious. And why do you have to wait till May? I thought you can do stim cycles with only a month off. What’s up with that?

I spent a bit of time last night wondering and worrying about baby stuff and where we’ll put everything. Then I realised, it may be all for nought. I’m not being –ve, just realistic. No point in worrying about stuff that may not happen. But it’s good to have a Plan B. So if I may make so bold, tell the Crinone side effects to bugger off, consider but don’t dwell on what you might have to do and keep on thinking happy thoughts. That’s what I’m doing today. It worked for me yesterday!

And here’s something to be smiling about: after this weekend, it will be less than a week until somebody sticks a needle in you! How exciting!

And finally, let’s not forget dear FGS who ought to be joining us tomorrow. You won’t have to listen to me blethering on like a fool!

Hope you’re having a good day today and that your cramps are easing up a little.

MF XX

[murraycod]

LOL!! Thanks MF, glad to hear you are being positive, I have decided to do the same...PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise!)

Cramps moved down yesterday afternoon to very low in my pubic area, and have pretty much stayed there since, so glad the AF feeling has buggered off for the moment.(sigh)

1 Week today my friend!!! I hope this week is a happier one, last week was awful, but we are both feeling more positive today, and FGS joining us will keep our minds off ourselves for a while!!!!!

FGS, If you are lurking, good luck for tomorrow sweetheart, we will be thinking of you XXX

MF, have a nice day XXX

[murraycod]

Ok, so the cramping has come back with a vengance, constant non stop AF cramps, very painfull. Feel like I do just before AF visits.

Anyway, you are ll going to tell me off when I say, I POAS thsmorning 8dp4dt and got the result I knew deep down, I was expecting, BFN.
I googled, and found that 90% IVF'rs have their BFP by now 8dp, or 12dpO

[fatgirlslim]

MURRAYCOD! Nooooooo! Don't do it to yourself! The FS said it was way too early for you to POAS... please don't get down about it! That is most likely an inaccurate result! They don't call it a TWW for nothing hun!!

Hey Moonflower!!

I am finally on my TWW... To be honest - today was the best day of this whole journey.... They gave me a picture of my little embryo.. i saw it up on the video screen right before they were sucking it up into the little tube-y thing... then I got to see on the ultrasound when they put the little bean into my uterus... see, now that's cool... it's the best part... I am sure.. Sounds like I'm up for a challenge this next couple of weeks. I'll try not to overanylise anything... !!

The embryologist said that all of my Embryos (6) are coming along really well and are high grade. But the one they've inserted was particularly exceptional. Fx!!!!

I am a bit lost now... I don't know what to do... do I lay still? walk? move? jump? sit? Oh gosh... !

Anyway... wishing you guys a happy weekend and super :stickyvibes:

NO MORE POAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

L x

[Moonflower]

Woop woop! FGS is in da house! Well helloooo....! Lovely to see you here FGS. Please excuse me one moment while I yell at MC.

MURRAYCOD! JUST WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!?? Zair vil be no more peeing on zer stick! Ve hef vays of making you not pee on zer stick!

I'm really pleased for you FGS. Excellent news that your embies are doing so well. I love good news like that. You were saying you don't know what to do right now. Well, I think I may speak for MC as well as myself when I say you won't be running, jumping or any of those things. You will spend some good days and some not so good days and some yucky days. You will feel like you're going mad. You will get the desire to POAS before you're supposed to (yes, I'm looking at you MC ) and you will get anxious and start searching the net for every scrap of information on what's happening to you / your body now. You will obsess about every niggle, pain, discomfort and then you will get worried when those same things disappear. Have I left anything out MC?

And you know what FGS, we will be right here to help you through it. Us and loads of other ladies who've been here.

MC, how you doin' sweet thing? I really hope you're not down on yourself. So what if you succumbed to the urge to POAS? It's not like you're the first and you won't be the last. I'm concerned about how you're feeling. You sounded down because of the BFN. I really want you to forget about that test. It really is too early. I know that you know that. But if you're like me, sometimes it helps to hear it. Please let me know how you're doing and if there is anything you need that I can help with. Sweet thing, you've got less than a week now. We can do this! We can! And now FGS is here, we'll be able to buoy each other.

I hope you ladies have been having a wonderful weekend and that it continues to get better. Chat tomorrow.

Love
MF xx

[murraycod]

Moonflower........ Knew you'd tell me off!! But I couldn't help myself any longer. The AF pains are still constant, I am wearing a pad I'm that sure she will be here!!!!

Anyways, how are you feeling?? At the beginning of this cycle Moonflower, I was the one chirping you up, now it's the opposite!!!!

See FGS, told you I'd be as mad as a hatter by the time you got here

What will be will be, can't change it hey!XXX

[onthefly]

It's nice to see some action in here ladies!

murraycod, I just had to say that I had really bad cramping after my successful cycle and was convinced that af must be coming. I really hope that poas (naughty!) was just too early.
Good luck!

[murraycod]

Thank You Marcellus

If it does turn out, that I do need to return to the TWW in the near future with another IVF cycle, I will do it with more dignity
But this time, I will go down kicking and screaming!!!

[Lenny]

I really hope that poas (naughty!) was just too early.

POAS should be banned, you are very naughty!

[murraycod]

Yeup..... I know...

[Moonflower]

Awww MC.... Come here...

I don't know what to tell you but I want you to know that I'm here to cheer you up in any way that I can. How are you feeling today? Are you much improved? What is going on inside your head? Have you forgiven yourself and are you looking forward to the end of the week? Not long to go now. Does it make you feel better that Marcellus has had the same symptoms as you (and loads of other women too) and had a +ve BT? Will it make you feel better / more at ease if you read some +ve stories from the net?

My symptoms have gone away almost completely. And that started doing my head in on Friday evening. But then I realised that I'm not the one in control of this and as you say, que sera, sera.

Not that any of what I've just said will offer you the slightest bit of optimism. I am hoping that you might at least be able to quell those feelings that are bringing you undone. Sweet thing, it (your down and out feelings) may well be for nothing. You might very well be wasting your energy. I understand why you're thinking more on the -ve side as I do the same thing as a method of self preservation. I just wish I could help you to be cheery. Oh, and don't think that I'm not beyond organising for you to be forcefully restrained if need be!

If any of you other ladies out there have words of wisdom or support for the three of us in here, we'd sure love to hear them!

FGS, how you doin'? I hope that in our drug induced nuttiness, we haven't scared you off....

MF xx

[fatgirlslim]

Hey...

I am here... I am doing ok...

I feel so lost..!! I don't know what to do.. or think?!?! I am so scared to get excited - but I am excited... and nervous, and scared, and happy, and hopeful... nothing is going to be able to describe the emotions of a 2ww... seriously... I am day 1 - and this is my first ever 2ww with AC... and I'm already thinking I might need to fasten my seatbelt!!!

My super sore BBs have downscaled to a minor ache.. and I am not getting any more pelvic pain or cramps... so of course, I am pooping my pants that crinone is not working for me... afterall - you lovely ladies had cramp city! ugggggh

Trying to stay calm and sane..

L x

[murraycod]

Moonflower has anyone ever told you, you are just a sweetheart!?!?
Well you are X
I'm glad your symptoms have eased for you, I truly think it's better when we are not constantly feeling things, blessed reminder of what we are trying to forget about!
How are you feeling??? When is your BT??
You truly deserve for this to work, and I will be so excited for you if it has!!
Truly, for anyone not to have to go through this again, would be the greatest think in the world.

FGS, hold on for the ride honey, I'm sure you will be more of a sport than I have!!!
Take it easy, rest up, and chill for a couple days. And be sure to stay happy and excited, because once I started to think negative thaughts, it was hard to get them out of my head, and beleive me, just take every day for it's own individual journey.

Well today is DH and my 1st Wedding anniversary, and I just feel so blessed to have a sweet man that is supporting me through all of this like a hero, and giving me plenty of encouragement to try this again. Honestly we are both at peace now if this cycle has not worked, no more tears and tantrums.
I know it's not over until BT day, but deep down we just know these things.
Anyways, hurry up Friday for me, so I can stop having to use those darn crinone pessaries, they are starting to make me a mess........tmi....

[Moonflower]

Good morning ladies! (Well, it was morning when I started this post!)

FGS, you are too cute. I have a plan for you to stop feeling so lost. Go back to where I first jumped into the tww, followed closely by MC. We were feeling all those feelings too! We can serve as a warning to you! I especially did not want to get excited. But at the same time, I did because this was all new to me. I actually had fertilised eggs which is more than I’ve ever had! Plus I felt that after all I’d been through, I deserved to get a bit excited. Still, I couldn’t do it. My fear took care of that. By the end of my first day, I didn’t think I would make it even to the end of the first week. But look! I’m still here. And I’m actually in better shape than I was at the beginning. I’ve got family praying for me and I’m praying for you, MC and your embies.

I had the sorest BBs too. And the cramping. But latter stopped a few days ago (like you, I worried about why it is so) and two nights ago, I was able to take my bra off without any pain. Even DH remarked last night that I didn’t make pained noises getting into bed! I’m not beyond wondering if the cessation of all my symptoms is a bad thing. It’s just that I know I can’t (and let’s face don’t really want to) make them come back. It just is. And that’s the worst of it sweetpea. What you can do is call on me (and I’m sure MC and anybody else) and rant and rave and cry and moan and be joyful and happy and everything that you’re feeling. Because we know and we can do this:

My only advice (if I may) is to listen to MC. Try your very best (and it’s damn hard) not to get down. Those rotten pessaries make you feel even worse. It really is hard to pull yourself out. But we’ll be here to help you. You’re already a couple of days down. Only 11 more big sleeps! Leave the pant pooping to your newborn baby when he/she arrives!

MC, CONGRATULATIONS to you and your DH! How does it feel to be married a whole year? I hope you both have a wonderful, relaxing, laughter and love filled day! I am sure it will be now that you have both unshackled all your tension. What wondrous release!

You say the sweetest things, btw, MC. I think we, all of us, deserve for our cycles to work. We’re keen to be good mummies as well as wives and we’ve gone through so much, haven’t we? For me, even having to actually admit that I had to have scientific help was a huge emotional hurdle and then to actually do it…. Well, I’m sure you are no different.

It is funny that you say that you “just know”. I’ve said to people, that I “just know” that I can’t have kids. They look at me like “Whatever you nutbag. You can’t ‘just know’.” But we feel it, don’t we? Down in the core of our being. But let me tell you this: It ain’t over till the fat lady sings. And MC, I haven’t even begun clearing my throat yet!! (You can’t see me, but I’m overweight.) So I know that you just know lady. But I also want, so very much, for you to prove yourself wrong.

FGS, are you writing all this down? Don’t make me come back to you in a week and copy and paste this reply!!

AFM, I have two more big sleeps till the dreaded BT. I am nervous, the teensiest bit excited and a little scared too. I woke up at 04:30 this morning, I’m sure because I’m thinking about this test. Ugh! As I said to my sil yesterday, this is the one test I don’t want to fail!

Hope you ladies are having a good day today.

MF x

[fatgirlslim]

Heya -

Just thought I'd pop my head in to let y'all know I amm still alive here...

MC - it's my wedding anniversary today Hehe - that's so cool. I read your posts in the AC forum. You sound sooo down/negative - and I am really sorry that you feel like this! Can you be THAT sure that it's going to be a BFN? did you POAS again!?!?! I really hope and pray that you BT shocks the socks of you and you end up with your BFP... I reaaaally do xxx

MF - SO EXCITING - tomorrow is your BT right??? I have everything X'd for you!

AFM - still no weird 'signs' or 'feelings' - my bbs still ache but nothing like before - and I really have no cramping at all... if anything, sometimes I might feel a niggle.. and dare I say.. sometimes I almost forget what's going on.... but that being said... I wish I could go to sleep and wake up on BT day - so I don't have to overanalyse everything all the time..

Oh well.

Better go and pay attention to my marriage... lol

L x

[Moonflower]

Hi FGS - CONGRATULATIONS to you and your DH! Hope you are both having a lovely day being as romantic as you can at this time!

Have you been reading up on any other ladies stories who are in the same situation as us? Sometimes it can help, although sometimes it can make you a bit nutty. Like if you only read stories about women who have weird symptoms instead of reading about the ladies who have no symptoms at all!! Remember, there are no right or wrong symptoms!

MC, have I upset you? I don't understand what is happening. I know you said you feel that this cycle hasn't worked and yet, you haven't actually gotten AF yet, right? I'm so sad for you. I really wish I could hug you right now. I don't want to upset you but I really, really don't want you to give up. My nurse told me that even if I get my AF, I have to come for the BT because she had a girl who got her AF, didn't go for her BT, did another cycle and she was pregnant the whole time. Oh please MC, try to lift. Don't let that freakin' crinone make you so sad. I hate that I can't help you.

Yes FGS, I have my BT tomorrow. It will be early (before work) and I'm going to ask them to not ring me as, if it is a -ve, I won't be able to cope and I don't want anyone at work to find out (I work with 4 blokes!!). I'm going to ask if I can ring them when I get off work.

I don't know what to feel. Part of me doesn't even want to have the BT. Or at least that I should put it off for another week. I kind of like the idea that I'm PUPO and I don't want to deal with bad news. How silly, huh? I'm still a bit nervous, a bit scared and a very little bit excited.

MC, please write and let me know how you are and what is going on. I'm really concerned and I just don't know what to do or say to help you....

MF xx