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Thread: Scream, cry, vent! #2

  1. #55

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    Shez,

    I just read about what you said about the Brisbane Courier Mail and wonder if there was a backlash about the subject from IVFers in Qld? I am going to look up their site to see if they have the editorial online as I am so deeply offended by being compared to drug traffickers (alleged) that I'm already composing my scathing letter to them.

    I truly, honestly cannot understand why anyone thinks that they can editorialise about something they have no knowledge of, have no personal experience of, and worst of all, think that they can generalise about the thousands of women who are going through such a heartrenching journey as having made IVF a 'career choice'. You know, even if a women decided to wait to have a baby until she was more financially secure, how is that not being responsible, caring and capable? She would not have believed that later in life she would have so many problems...who does? Women fall pg all the time, whether they're 14 or 40. IVF is a medical issue, not a lifestyle issue. It's not like buying a pair of pants, for god's sake!

    There are some very ignorant people out there.



    love
    sushee

  2. #56

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    To be honest Sushee I haven't picked up a paper since. I don't know anyone else in Brissy who is on the IVF journey so I haven't had the opportunity to talk to anyone about it. The same day there was a letter to the editor in support of IVF but as I say I haven't looked at the paper since.
    Shez xox

  3. #57

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    Shez
    that is outrageous what they wrote and comparing us to people out to make a buck$$$$ at expense of someone elses misery.

    Many IVF'ers aren't even older - before their infertility is diagnosed, even so could have been there all along.Like those with Endo and PCOS or due to other male related issues - so not even a woman's career choice.

    It is hard for others to understand when falling pg happens so easily for them. Hard they don't step into your shoes for a moment. We all need a chance to blow our tops when the going gets tough.

    Sushee let us know what you dig up - we can all send them an email.

  4. #58

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    IVF a choice??!!! I can't even get an AF myself without medical intervention - so having a baby through IVF is definitely not my "choice"!!!! The narrow minded, half baked ideas of some stupid people amaze me.

    Sorry ladies 8-[ I'm sure my outburst was helped by the fact that my rollercoaster is descending at lightspeed...anyone know where the brakes are??

  5. #59

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    Default me again

    Hi ladies

    Boss from hell has struck again! She is now saying that i am consumed with my endo too much. I am going in for a lap next week i think i will resign after that i cannot bare to look her in the face any more.

    It just really hurts to think that she can take something so personal and spread it around like idle gossip. I know once i confront her i will not be able to stay.

    I am in the middle of finding out all that i am owed and i will be taking all of my sick leave for this op.

    Thanks for the vent

    Racheal.

  6. #60

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    Girls, just popping in to let you know that the LT TTC Vent Forum is now accessable if you've applied for it

  7. #61

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    Racheal,

    there is something deeply and morally unethical about what your boss is doing. Does she have a supervisor that you can lodge a complaint with prior to resigning?

    Love
    sushee

  8. #62
    ann Guest

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    Zap,

    Just wanted to let you know that last August I was sacked from my job, for heading down the IVF track, or thinking about it. My boss who was pg with twins by IVF at the time, held a staff meeting after I left, and she told everyone that I was starting IVF and she had to let me go because I wouldn't be around much and I was going off to have babies, and the business would suffer. I have a major problem with this as, we hadn't told anyone about our plans, except asking my boss a few questions, and we were only thinking about IVF at that stage. When I asked her why I was being sacked she just shrugged her shoulders.

    Stick it to your boss, it's unfair.

    Ann (I'm still ****ed off with the whole situation)

  9. #63

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    Bl***y hell Ann that is just wrong, what your boss did is surely discrimination and/or wrongful dismissal. I hope you stuck it to her...

  10. #64

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    Ann,
    I would still be very ****ed off too - she sounds like one screwed up b*&^% so best not to be around her probably. But a wrongful dismissal claim would be worth trying.
    Rachael - that is an awful situation to be in. As the others suggested, I would go to a higher authority , if you are in a large enough organisation. Otherwise, if you can afford to and you don't really like the job probably taking all the sick leave and going is a good idea. But is it worth the hassle of trying to find another job?? It will make you think twice about telling people the truth in the next workplace.

  11. #65
    Sal Guest

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    OK girls, bear with me because I've been away from the internet for weeks, but of course I just have to respond to some of the stuff posted.

    Mel, I'm not sure if I feel better or worse knowing that there are other women suffering exactly the same way I am. I absolutely agree with everything you said, and triply so about adoption.

    Shez, can't believe that article. Now being a Brissy girl (well, kinda) myself I am embarassed to live here. Do the #@[email protected]# government ministers want us to go down the US route, where we can only save up and afford (possibly) one single IVF cycle, whereby ALL embys are put back just to give the greated possible chance of a pregnancy? But unlike the US, good old Medicare would have to foot the bills for all the post-natal issues with higher order multiples. I mean, even if the government (mostly men) have NO IDEA much less COMPASSION and UNDERSTANDING, can't they do their maths and realise how stupidly short-sighted they are being?


    ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

  12. #66

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    Hi all

    ***warning - irrational woman typing who will probably not make any sense but needs to get a bit of it off my chest***

    I don't often venture into the LT TTC/Infertility/IVF section. We are not going through IVF, however we have been TTC for 18mths officially. So I feel I kinda fit in between the two TTC forums.

    But I need to vent and here I am.

    I hate how frustrating this whole process is. Why is it? Why is it that we have to go through this frustrating journey? I find it so frustrating that I can't fall pregnant - I am an intelligent person who can do anything that I want if I put my mind to it - except fall pregnant.

    I have got to the stage that I can't stand going to family functions. I went to a 1st bday party last weekend and a 75th bday party. At the 1st bday party there were about 14 toddlers around, and I couldn't stand to be anywhere near all the children, I just wanted to sit in the corner away from them and their parents. Here I am sitting at a 1st bday party, when I have been trying to have a baby long before this baby was a twinkle in it's parents eyes.

    Then I go to the 75th and I have all my younger cousins who have all fallen pregnant by mistake around me with their babies, and them asking me when am I going to start a family. Gee, never by the looks of it. And they look at me like I'm some kind of alien, because I'm older than them and they think that I am being selfish by having a career and not having children, like I am doing it on purpose.

    I am jealous when people tell me they are pregnant. I am jealous when I hear that even Bec Cartwright is pregnant (both times! - IRL and on H&A). And I know that is *****y and horrible but I dont understand why it can't be that easy for me.

    My mother rings me last night to tell me that one of my cousins had twins this week. 2 boys - her 7th & 8th children and she is 32. My whole family are reproducing at a high rate and here I am at home doing HPT's on 10DPO even though I knew that the result would be Negative and would lead to this disappointment.

    I am not even looking forward to going back to my gyno because I have been hearing the same thing for over 5years about my PCOS, and I am not getting anywhere. I have been hearing for 15mths about how I should give it some more time trying naturally before we even think about any fertility treatment. If I hear it one more time when I go back to the gyno in 2wks then I think I will just give up on this whole TTC process and my stupid irregular cycles.

    Sorry for my selfish rant and rave, but I had to get some of this frustration out. Feel free to ignore my horrible comments.

  13. #67

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    Arghhh - even my computer is punishing me tonight !

  14. #68

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    Belinda,

    It's not selfish. Most of us feel as you are feeling now. It is completely normal to feel this way.

    And don't worry about feeling like you don't belong in the thread. This thread is for all people who have been TTCing for whatever feels like too long, whether they are on IVF or not. I am only just about to start IVF myself. Plenty of us in here are doing AI, Clomid or just herbs and timed BD. All kinds!

    Come chat with us when you feel the need.

    Mel

  15. #69

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    Thanks Mel

    I feel much calmer today. My DH and I have had a small chat about it all, and he thinks we should have a break from TTC because he said he doesn't like how I get so upset over it all. I don't feel that comfortable with that option, so I need to think about it all a bit longer. Sure it would be so easy to just give up and let go of the stress, but what if it never happens? I'm getting older not younger

    But this cycle isn't over yet, so I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

    Belinda

  16. #70

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    Hi Belinda,
    If you have PCOS wouldn't a reproductive endocrinologist be able to help more than a gynaecologist?? I think the REs are gynaecologists as well but have the extra qualification. I would go see one of them if I were you. Definitely very difficult for women to let go of the TTC stress.
    Fingers crossed this is your month and we don't ever hear from you again (meant in the nicest possible way )

  17. #71

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    Hi Anney, thanks for your advise. I have been seeing a RE since July 2004 as well and following his advice. Maybe I'll try and get in to see him again soon before my next scheduled appt in August.

    I also have a boss who doesn't look too favourable on me taking time off for all my Dr appts. You would think she would understand as she has told me that she had PCOS and it took her 7 years to conceive her 1st.

  18. #72

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    Yes, you would think she would be more sympathetic!

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