This isn't exactly where I thought I would be posting but on Friday March 26th, 2004 we had a beautiful baby boy whom we named Alex. He was born at 18w5d gestation, weighing 250gms, after my waters broke & he had no fluid left around him. We had to make the hardest decision of our lives the day before as we were given 3 options. We could wait for mother nature to take its course, we could wait & see if the pregnancy would make it to a time where the baby could survive outside of the womb (& most likely die shortly after due to underdeveloped lungs) or to terminate. We decided to terminate as we have a 19mth old son & neither my hubby or I could go home & just wait for things to happen by themselves while playing with our son. They had to induce me to give birth to our little boy & the only thing that I am grateful for is that it was a relatively short labour (4.5hrs), however it was not a situation I was ever expecting to face. My hubby was & continues to be fantastic, while I continue to try & survive each day. There isn't a day I don't look at James & think how lucky I am, but at the same time I am remembering a little brother that he will never know. We are waiting on test results & go back to the OB on the 28th of this month to see if he can shed any more lite on why my waters broke so early. The hardest thing about the decision we made is that in the 2 U/S's we had done our babys' heart was beating away madly & perfectly, he fully expected that it would all be alright & I think that that is the hardest thing for me to come to grips with. I know we made a fully informed decision & basically the only one that we could make but that doesn't make it any easier. I am glad we got to hold him, see him & have foto's taken with him, but I miss him every day & wonder if I'll ever be strong enough to contemplate trying again.
That is enough from me for now (especially as I can hardly see the screen through my tears)
Thanx for letting me vent