Oh Sarah,

You poor thing. I can totally understand why you are so upset. In the greater scheme of things this probably means nothing, but it seems to be those that are closest to you always hurt you the most! You know they love you and care about you and always want the best for you, but they can also do some of the most hurtful things too. Perhaps she felt that by telling those other couple of people, she was opening up a greater support network for you? But as you say, there are other people who deserve to know such as your IL's so there is that aspect to consider as well.

I think the reasons for you wanting to keep this to yourself are totally valid. After I had my 2nd m/c I didn't want anybody to know about it either, but more people found out about it than what I would have liked and as a result I have suffered some negative responses when those people have learnt of this PG. Even those who knew about the 1st m/c alone have successfully forced negative vibes and opinions on to me about the PG and seem to assume also that something 'might' be wrong or 'could' go wrong which really don't help when you're petrified enough as it is. So I really can totally understand and appreciate why you want to keep this information private. I should also say that some of the people that found out about the 2nd m/c were not people we told personally or wanted to know....but they found out by people we did trust with the information, telling them. So I do understand what you mean.

It was nice of your Dad to come over, but sadly nothing he can say can really undo the hurt you've been caused by this. It's not like the words your Mum said to those other family members can magically be erased. It might take you a little while to come to terms with what she did and to make some sense of it, but hopefully in time you will as it can be harder on you emotionally in the long run to hold it against her IYKWIM. It's tiring enough just grieving right now huh? Do you trust the people she told to keep the information to themselves? Do you think it might pay to talk to them yourselves and explain that you didn't actually want the information passed on to them and explain why, and ask them to please respect your wishes by not discussing the situation with anybody else? Sorry if any of this is coming across wrong, as I'm just kind of letting it all flow from my mind and out into this post! I just want to try and perhaps give you some suggestions as to what you can do now since you can't undo what's happened IYKWIM?