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Thread: Baby Lost - Heart Broken (Factor V Leiden responsible)

  1. #145

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    Last edited by Bec77; December 21st, 2007 at 08:08 PM.

  2. #146

    Join Date
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    WA
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    Hey

    Michelle - I honestly dont think that waiting a few weeks would have changed anything for you. You were following your heart and that can never be the wrong thing to do. Like i have said to you before this is your life and it is not up to your doc (or anyone else) to pass judgement as to when you should try or when you should wait. A word of warning though. I have read that you shouldnt try to have your bum up to high because it could block off the cervix. Just the height of a small pillow. Gee i wish we didnt have to even think about that. I could try to get my DH to hold my legs up but since he is asleep about 30 seconds later i think i would have more luck relying on the pillow LOL. He has this incredible nack to fall asleep at anytime anywhere no matter what is going on with him. Its frustrating sometimes i wish i could be more like him rather than lying awake stressing. excellent that you are feeling better - mmmmmmmm cream cakes. Sux being at work.

    Becc - Yes my dad has always had very good health but FVL makes you more prone to strokes and DVT etc so its never good news to have it. So you are another avid pillow follower. Well maybe that made the difference and got us all up the duff in the first place. Heres to it working for us as soon as we want it. As in NOW for me.LOL

    Well i am feeling a little better thanks to both of you.

    Chat to you later.

    Sarah

  3. #147

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    Hi sarah

    Thanks for telling me about your legs and bum being to high i would never have known.
    Part of me is saying lets try now but the other part is saying wait till next month.

    LOL at you DH falling asleep. Mine doesn't we try and sneek to bed when Kimberley is asleep in the day time at the weekend. I am surprised that i fell pregnant at all.

    Hope work is not to bad for you. Today is my day to myself as kimberley is at day care. I like having the time to myself but i do miss her but then when i pick her up later she will be in a bad mood as she is sleepy.

    I must not be doing to bad as i have done some housework.

    I was thinking it would be great if they had a big belly belly meet somewhere then we could all meet each other.

  4. #148

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    Michelle,

    I read about the legs in the air thing on a website - i went looking for it again and of course i cant find it now but the definition was small pillow. I remember because i asked my dh if he thought that the pillow i was using was considered small LOL.

    I know what you mean about saying try and then not try. Before we made our final decision to start trying i felt like that all the time usually from minute to minute. I even tried writing the strongest feeling down in my diary for the day so i could look back and see what i had felt - Funny they all said TRY!

    Work isnt bad at all. i work for my dad. He is an accountant/Financial planner and i am his financial planning assistant so i can kind of do what i want. Still rather be at home though focusing on Katelyn but that is why i decided to cut down to 4 days a week and have Wednesday's off.

    Housework - YUK. Unfortunately i pretty much a clean freak so i seem to be cleaning all the time. Id rather not but i cant help it.

    It would be great to have a big belly belly meet for all us TTC after a loss, Trying to cope after a loss and of course pregnant after a loss. However i am in country WA so i guess i would be in the minority over this side.

    Well talk later

    Sarah

  5. #149
    Melinda Guest

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    Hey chicklets,

    Becc - nope, I wasn't offended at all by what you said as I could tell what you meant by it and I thought it was really kind of you to say that! You're right, things can get a little quiet in the PG after m/c or loss forum, but that's ok - everybody has different and competing needs in their lives right now so it means that not everyone can post all that frequently. It was kind of hard for me in the beginning because I was the first one in there, but as others came on board it was good to be able to share your feelings with others. The other girls are busy with work and other commitments and that's fine - the main thing is that they are feeling comfortable with themselves and their PG (as much as you can be after a loss)! So whilst it would be great if the forum would be more active, it doesn't bother me so much in that I know that if any of the girls need to chat then they will post, and I'm sure that in due course the forum will be busy with some new graduates such as yourself!

    I think what you said about your OB could possibly be right (and a big pat on the back to you for giving him the benefit of the doubt in such a terrible situation). Shock can do amazing things to people and it can be too easy for even the best of us to do/say silly things in such situations. Like you I hope that it was shock and him just not being nasty as you say because as you said, he hadn't been callous at all during your PG.

    Sarah - oh sweet chops, today sounds like it is a pretty rough day for you. It's awful that you have good days followed by such terribly bad ones which really bring you down and make you feel terrible. Grief is such a horrible thing and I really wish there was a way of being able to bypass the whole thing, but sadly there isn't. As much as it really hurts to have to have these kinds of days, it's much better for you in the long run IYKWIM......if you try to run away from grief it will come and bite you on the bum one day. I know that I too had the feelings that I would never be happy again...that my dreams would never be realised and I was destined for a horrible childless life. It's a horrible feeling that really can't be described accurately in words! It's also easy to assume that if you fell PG quickly previously, that it will happen that way for you again. It did happen like that for us, but I can tell you that before it happened I worried that it would take forever and I didn't think that I could cope with waiting. It's hard when things are so out of your control, particularly if you're like me and feel the need to be in control of things (and I mean everything!). It's like Becc said.....even though in time things get a bit better, it doesn't make you feel any better right now!

    Michelle - our OB told us that just because we m/c again the 2nd time, it wasn't anything to do with not having waited for AF necessarily. Glad to hear you're still getting into the naughty foods LOL. Mmmm cream cakes! All of this talk of food is making me huunnngggryyyy LOL. As for the legs in the air, can't say I ever did that LOL.

    Oh....and Sarah....your Dad is a financial planner huh? That's what I used to do until I was made redundant last year! I finished my Diploma of Financial Planning last year and just got my licence to advise when I was made redundant....it was the start of a pretty rough trot for me last year! Oh and I'm a total clean freak too.....doesn't help when the nesting instinct fully kicks in and you decide that all the windows in the house MUST be washed IMMEDIATELY LOL.

    Oh, and the appt today went well....our little tiger is fine and has actually given me quite a few swift kicks LOL. I'm getting pretty puffy hands/wrists, knees (!!) and ankles/feet too but the OB said it's a good sign actually considering my BP is normal. Phew! What a relief!!! Thanks for letting me have a little vent about it guys as I was on a bit of a stresser!!!

  6. #150

    Join Date
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    WA
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    Tootie,

    Excellent news about little tiger, bring on more kicks i say. You hardly vented to us at all. You have listed to all the stuff that we say when swinging around certain emotions and still always manage to give great advice with a kind word. You are truly one of a kind.

    Financial Planning hey. Good work on getting your diploma. I am not going to be doing that. I decided that i wanted to have kids more IYKWIM. Lol about being a clean freak. As for the legs in the air it sounds like you never had to do that anyway......and i only have my bum on a pillow with my knees bent feet firmly on the bed. A little more lady like (not to mention comfortable). Well i will do whatever it takes even if it was headstands although i was never very good at those LOL. I guess that you can tell that i am feeling a bit lighter now. Still having a crushingly horrible day but at least i can smile now - i couldnt do that this morning. I hear what you say about facing the grief head on and not running from it. Its just so hard when you always seem to feel like this, just at varying degrees but i know that you know that. When you said horrible childless life. That is exactly how i feel right now. I feel like my one chance ended with her death and i will never be blessed with it again. Now that i have said that i will probably get pregnant within the next few months. Heres hoping anyway.

    Glad that your anxiety has been eased for the time being.

    Chat again soon

    Love Sarah

  7. #151

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    Hey Girls,

    Sarah, still thinking of you and hoping you are ok. I know there's not much you can do to shake this feeling when it hits except to ride it out and wait for it to leave. I'm hoping for a more positive weekend for you.

    Tootie, happy to hear your appointment went well. Your little tiger will be here in no time now! I'm glad you understood what I meant before too. I certainly wasn't having a go at the girls in the PG after loss forum. All I meant was there seem to be less people in that particular forum than the other 'PG people' ones, making it a bit quieter. And I guess that's the way it should be too - I wouldn't wish our forum on anyone IYKWIM?

    Michelle, hope you are feeling a bit better too. It must be tough on you being in a new(ish) country where you don't really know many people. I'm certainly happy to jump on here and have a chat with you when you need to.

    Well, that's probably it from me for the day. DH and I are about to head up the coast to visit my mum and stepdad for the weekend. I hope you all have a good weekend. Will chat again soon. :hugs: to all...

  8. #152

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    Sarah, Just noticed that you posted while I was writing up my last post. Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better. Hope things pick up a bit more for you over the weekend. Talk to you on Monday.

  9. #153

    Join Date
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    WA
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    Becc,

    Hope you enjoy your weekend away. Once again you are braver than me. I still dont want to leave the house. It is a very comforting place right now.....

    I am also nervous because my OB is going to ring back with some answers to some questions and it is kind of like being on tender hooks wondering if every phone call is from him and then trying to work out a way to have some privacy at work and ask him a few questions that i have thought of in the mean time. As if i havent interrogated him enough.LOL

    Well anyway talk to you monday.

    Sarah

  10. #154
    shescrafty96 Guest

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    Kab,
    First of all, let me tell you how sorry I am to hear of the loss of your baby girl. My name is Carla, and I'm the other one Tootie mentions in her first post. I just recently (5-23-04) lost my son- I was 21 weeks along. He stayed with us for a little over 2 hours before he passed on. I know how frusterating and depressing everything can be at this time. I don't believe Aunt Flo has showed up yet but it has only been a month Wednesday. Once we get the go ahead from the OB, we will be trying again too...
    I'm not sure if this is appropriate to write at this time or not so if I offend anyone, I apoligize. We had our son cremated and I really wanted to do something special with the "cremains". I came across this website that sells urn pendants and they are absolutely beautiful- the woman who sells them is so incredibly sweet too... I don't have the web address on hand but if you do a search on "W.I.T.H." or "Whisper in the Heart" you will find them.
    Kab- If you ever need someone to talk with or vent to anytime- don't hesitate to write! It really helps at times like this to talk with people that completely understand what you're going through. This forum is filled with the best women ever!
    Take care,
    --Carla

  11. #155
    Melinda Guest

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    Hey Carla,

    I've been thinking about you a lot and wondering how you have been getting on. I imagine that you are having a pretty rough time ATM. If you feel up to it, come and post and we'll try and help you through this tough time ok?

    Thinking of you....

  12. #156
    meg Guest

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    Hi Carla,
    So sorry to hear of the loss of your little Richard. I think what you are doing with your cremains is beautiful- it is so important to remember and honour your loss. Take care and hoping each day gets easier for you.

    Hi Becc and Sarah- hope you are doing OK. Sending you cyberhugs.

    Meg

  13. #157

    Join Date
    May 2004
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    WA
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    Hi All,

    Firstly i wanted to say that it is 3 months since Katelyn was born today. :smt022

    Secondly, Carla - Thank you for coming to post to me. I am so sorry for your loss. Its heartbreaking isnt it. Can i offer my support back to you. I am sure that without this site i wouldnt be doing as well as i am now (not that i am doing great but you know what i mean) but i just think that it relieves the pressure off both us and our families. I also think that it is beautiful what you have done with your sons remains. We also had Katelyn cremated and have her in a little urn. Its made of copper and fits snuggly into your hand. I hold on to it as much as possible. I hope that you are having an "ok" day today. My heart goes out to you. :hugs:

    Thanks for the cyberhugs meg - Straight back at you :hugs:

  14. #158

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    Forgot something else -

    Yesterday the power was off in my street for the entire day (4.30am to 10.30pm) and last night hubby and i went to bed early. We were talking and i said that i would just like a sign from Katelyn so that i know that she is ok and that i will be ok. Then this morning when i went for my walk (i go for an hour everyday) i saw 4 rainbows at different times.......Is this a sign?

    Thanks

    Love Sarah

  15. #159

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    Hi Sarah

    Hope today will not be to hard for you. I know that it is a sad day for you.
    I would take it as a sign maybe you were meant to go to bed early to make another little bub.


    Will catch up later.

  16. #160

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    Hey Michelle,

    I just replied to your post under TTC. I hope that you are feeling much better today.

    Thanks for that. We tried to make a bub so i just guess we will have to wait and see.

    Why do we have to wait so long?

    Love Sarah

  17. #161

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    Hi Sarah

    Not sure why we have to wait so long.
    I really did wan to try this weekend but i also want to wait till A/F. Like i said before i want that now but not next month.

    Hope that you you do not have to wait to long to know what is going on and that you are pg this month or next as we are in July soon.

    I will be thinking of you today. As the months go it should get a little better for you both. I just do not know what else to say as everything i think about your loss i think of my mum and how long she has been gone i will never forget her just like you will never forget your little girl. I still have my mums picture in our bedroom.

    :hugs:

  18. #162

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    Last edited by Bec77; December 21st, 2007 at 08:09 PM.

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