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Thread: Baby Lost - Heart Broken (Factor V Leiden responsible)

  1. #109

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    Last edited by Bec77; December 21st, 2007 at 08:03 PM.

  2. #110
    Melinda Guest

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    Hey Becc,

    Thanks for the birthday wishes!

    I really think you are right in terms of the fact that the people around you would know that life simply hasn't just gone on for you and that you are very much still grieving, but that it is hard to raise the subject as it is hard to know what to say. Death is a very difficult subject for many people.....a lot of people really don't have a lot of experience with it (thankfully) to really know how it feels to lose a loved one, let alone a child. I think you will probably find that if you do bring Georgia up to these people and start talking about her, they probably will feel like it's ok to talk to you about it....it can be hard for many people to know what to say and do at these times but if you give them an indication that you're willing and able to talk about her then they will probably feel much more comfortable in talking to you about her which will obviously do you the world of good too!

  3. #111

    Join Date
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    WA
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    Hi All,

    Tootie, Happy Birthday for yesterday.

    Well i am really suprised at how i am feeling today. I have made a bit of progress this weekend i think.

    I did the food shopping on my own this weekend which is an achievement for me. It is pretty scary going to the shops when you know that you will run into people (small town) so i have always made Row come with me. Anyway this week i felt like i could do it on my own so i did and nothing bad happened so that is good. Secondly i dropped into my MIL's when Rowan was there which i was sort of trying to avoid where possible since Katelyn's death (pretty much ever since she said that i have to be more positive next time because postive thoughts might change the outcome!!!) and i managed to get through that without feeling too uncomfortable and i made up with my mum so only small steps but i was feeling pretty good about myself.

    The other thing that happened was i saw my friend who was due 2 weeks before me. I havent spoken to her since Katelyn died and i have been avoiding her because she is not the nicest of people sometimes, i am actually friends with her boyfriend and friends with her as a result of that. Anyway i only saw her from the car and she didnt see me but i was ok with seeing her big preggo belly. Yeah it hurt because last time we saw each other we were comparing belly sizes but i was ok. Luckily i wasnt in the shop though because that would have freaked me out. Rowan spoke to her and she didnt even mention Katelyn and i know that i wouldnt have been able to handle her in that situation.

    Also i am feeling pretty positive about the whole ttc thing at the moment. Still upset that we have to go through it again (of course) but i feel that something will happen for us in the next couple of months so for the first time i am not worrying about when it will happen which makes a nice change. I have to be careful though it could be the calm before the storm IYKWIM.

    Well Tootie hope you are feeling well, Becc Hope you are having a good day and Michelle, I am sorry that you have had a bad week i will try and catch some of your posts to get up to date with your news. Hope everything is ok.

    Love Sarah

  4. #112

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    Hey Sarah

    So glad to hear that you had a good weekend. You are sounding really positive - good to hear! Can I just say that it sounds like the steps you took over the weekend were much bigger than you seem to think. You overcame some pretty big hurdles and I think you should be proud of yourself! Seeing your friend and your MIL wouldn't have been easy. I'd like to know how you managed to bite your tongue when your MIL made the comment about the positive thoughts. That one blew me away. It's good to hear that you made up with your mum too.

    I'm feeling pretty good at the moment too. I had a relaxing weekend with my DH. We saw the new Harry Potter movie yesterday - it was really good! I'm having dinner with an old friend tonight so that should be nice.

    Hope your day is going ok.

  5. #113

    Join Date
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    WA
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    Hey Becc,

    Thanks for the encouragement.

    I didnt really bite my tounge with my MIL, i got a bit angry (not really though under the circumstances) and said do you think that positive thoughts would have saved Katelyn. She then tried to back peddle a bit but she always does. She really loves me and i know that she tries but she just manages to put her foot in it all the time. After we had the D/S ultrasound she actually asked me if i would have got rid of the baby if something had been wrong.....i have always made my feelings clear on abortion - in that it would not be an option for me given what my mum went through. I thought at the time how can you look at a little picture of my baby and then ask me if i would kill it. Needless to say i wasnt impressed. The one other really bad thing that i can remember is her telling me what a wonderful husband i have after Katelyn died she kind of implied that Rowan is just amazing (which he is) but i was the one that gave birth etc etc and i didnt even get a mention.

    GRRRR at the Harry Potter movie, we went to see it yesterday but it was sold out. I had got all ready watching the second one on DVD yesterday morning too. Glad that you had a good time and that it is worth seeing though.

    Hope you have a nice time at dinner tonight. I really admire you getting out as you know it is something that i struggle with.

    I have my OB appointment tomorrow to get more info on the Factor V Leiden from the guy who delivered Katelyn so it will be interesting to see what he says, even though i am very nervous. Not sure how i will go seeing the doc who was there at the worst time of my life again for the first time.

    Well im glad that you are feeling pretty good at the moment.

    Chat Later

    Sarah

  6. #114

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    Sarah,

    I will be thinking of you tomorrow. Hopefully you will be able to get some more answers in relation to the FVL. It is only natural that you would be nervous about going to see the doctor. Seeing him will probably bring back a lot of memories for you. I was exactly the same when I went back for my 6 week check up with my OB. We had a lot of issues in relation to what had happened to Georgia and were of the opinion that he had been way too casual with me during my pregnancy. We knew that we were going to have to raise those issues with him and quite frankly, we were terrified that the appointment would turn into a confrontation. Once we got there however, we were able to raise our issues and discuss them calmly and rationally and we actually walked out of the building feeling much better afterwards.

    I will be keen to hear how you go. Is Rowan able to go with you?

    Dinner tonight should be ok. DH is coming too and it will just be the three of us. The friend is actually an old housemate of ours so we are fairly comfortable with her. We'll probably just go to a quiet little Italian restaurant and have some pasta and a nice bottle of red. Nothing too brave from me!

    All the best for tomorrow. You will be in my thoughts. Chat soon,

  7. #115

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    Sarah,

    Not sure what time you are going for your appointment today, but am thinking of you. Hope you're not feeling too nervous. Let us know how you go...

  8. #116

    Join Date
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    Hey Becc,

    Thanks - you have lifted my spirits.

    Yep i am officially panicking myself about the appointment. I dont even know why - he was so nice at the hospital its not like he is going to be any different. Maybe i am concerned about how i will react, if we will have enough time to discuss everything (i have about 10 zillion questions), will he agree and support me with taking the heparin, will he see me all the time next preg and the list goes on and on (2 pages actually) LOL. I also havent found out if the FVL came from my dad yet and he is going to ring late this arvo to find out?????

    I am really ok this is just bubbling below the surface.

    Unfortunately my Rowan cant go today. He is working in Margaret River and the appointment is about 1 hour 10 mins away in Bunbury and we only have the one car - he has a work truck.

    I am ok to go on my own though and i will be going to see the chaplain after which will also be really good - probably means lots and lots more tears though. I cry just when i hear her voice because she was there through everything with Katelyn and is now a special part of my life.

    Im glad that your appointment didnt turn into a confrontation you dont need that stress aswell.

    How did dinner go? And i still think it is brave!

    I wont be back today after my appointment (which is at 4) or tomorrow so i will update you on thursday.

    Love Sarah

  9. #117

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    Hey Sarah,

    LOL about the 2 pages of questions too! I was exactly the same. I don't think the OB quite knew what had hit him!

    Seeing the Chaplain after your appointment sounds like a good thing to do. Even though seeing her will probably make you cry, a big cry will probably be just what you need. With all the tension and anxiety that is building up leading up the appointment a big bawl will probably be a great release afterwards! It's amazing how good a big cry can make you feel sometimes.

    Dinner last night was nice. We did pretty much what I thought we would. (ie. Italian and a nice bottle of wine - well two actually!). It was actually really good to see our friend as she is one of those people who genuinely does care and when she asked how I was really going I knew she meant it.

    Given how regularly we seem to find ourselves on here, I'd say we will chat again today before your appointment but just in case we don't, good luck. I'm sure you will be fine.

  10. #118

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    Hi Sarah

    Glad that you had a good weekend.Hope you have any more good days.

    Take Care and hope all goes well today.

  11. #119

    Join Date
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    Hi Becc (again)

    LOL Maybe we should just get on msn messenger????

    Glad you enjoyed your dinner. It does sound nice. Im glad that you were able to talk comfortably about Georgia with her. The chaplain suggested the meeting after. I had suggested it to be before the OB but maybe she knows better IYKWIM. She really is an amazing lady that cares so much. She lost a baby at 20 weeks about 23 years ago. So she knows exactly what i am going through.

    Michelle.

    Thanks so much, like Becc said i am sure i will be fine.

    How are you going though? I have been thinking about you. Please come and vent to me if you need too.

    I hope that you are going along ok.

    Love Sarah

  12. #120

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    LOL. MSN Messenger isn't such a bad idea. (Except I don't know how! )

  13. #121

    Join Date
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    Hey Becc,

    Those poems - i am still having tears......

    So MSN Messenger

    Do you have a hotmail address?

    If so i can help you out with it.

    Getting more nervous only a couple of hours to go LOL.

    Sarah

  14. #122

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    I know, me too! I'm sorry to make you teary when you are already in for a stressful afternoon.

    Couple of hours to go...not too long now. Don't worry, I think we are probably all the same when it comes to medical appointments - nervous as hell! As I have said before, I still have problems with my blood pressure and I see my GP regularly to have it checked. I get so nervous each time I see him (worrying that my BP won't have gone down since the last appointment) that I don't think he's got an accurate reading yet! I'm working against myself, LOL.

    Yes, I have a hotmail address...

  15. #123

    Join Date
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    WA
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    Hi Becc,

    Dont be sorry, i actually like to cry about Katelyn because it makes me feel more in touch with her.

    i know what you mean about the whole blood presure thing. I have a high reading but it is not quite high enough to go onto medication (thank god) this has been going on for about 3-4 years. The funny thing was when i was in hospital having Katelyn my blood presure was the best it has ever been. Go figure i think it should have been sky high from the stress!

    Ok for MSN messenger go to this page - http://messenger.msn.com. That should tell you how to go about it. You can add me as a contact if you want my address is [email protected].

    Hopefully talk to you later.

  16. #124

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    Thanks Sarah

    That looks fairly straight forward. Even I should be able to manage that! Will give it a go and with any luck I will be able to chat soon! I have a 14 year old half sister who lives a couple of hours from me. She will be so impressed - she has been in to me to work out messenger for a long time. She of course, being a child of the computer age knows 10 times more about computers than I do, LOL.

    All the best for your appointment. You tell those nerves who's boss! Seriously though, I will be thinking about you. Will wait to hear from you on Thursday...

  17. #125

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    Hey Sarah, how did it go??

  18. #126

    Join Date
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    Hey Becc,

    I went unbelievably well - YAY!

    I am feeling really positive today - Still miss her like crazy though.

    Well i posted it in the other forum but i will paste it here for you.

    Thanks so much for thinking of me.

    I replied to your post under Georgia's story.

    How are you going today?

    Talk to you soon.

    Love Sarah

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