Hi PP - sorry you're going through this. I've been meaning to start this for a while but finally got onto it.

My story:

I've been through a number of losses, from early losses to stillbirth and neonatal death. Last year, I had 2 losses. A chemical in August and an ectopic pregnancy in October. The chemical, whilst disappointing, didn't really phase me as I figure it's Mother Nature doing her job. The ectopic was unbelievable.

The ectopic pregnancy was conceived on my first & only clomid cycle. Apart from having serious depression side effects from the clomid, the ectopic felt like an insult after injury. I started feeling pain about 4wks. I called my FS office and was told it was just stretching pain. I didn't think so. I've been pregnant enough times to know what early stretching pain is. However, when I felt full on stabbing pain and 4+4wks, I thought it may just be a gluten reaction. Happily, I had a GP appointment scheduled for 2 days later. By then, the pain radiated from my right thigh up to my ribs. She referred me to a scan & called the office to let them know I was coming, but also told me to call my FS and he'd get me in to scan me. I called him but he said to call him back the next week. As there was no bleeding, it was probably nothing. I can still remember standing at the tram stop, trying to work out what to do - go home or go to the ultrasound place. I was so scared it was ectopic and that it could rupture at any time. It was late Thursday afternoon and I didn't want to go through the weekend with that pain, not knowing what was going on. My Dh was interstate but he finally called me back and told me to get the scan. Friends told me to get the scan.

I jumped on the tram to the ultrasound place. An hour later, the pregnancy was found in my right tube. Apparently, the rib pain was from internal bleeding. The OB at the clinic called my FS and I was scheduled for surgery the following day. I was 5wks pregnant when my right tube was removed via a lap. I was seriously ****ed off with the universe. Surely, we'd already been through enough horror without my fertility being reduced even further. In recovery, my FS dared to ask me in recovery if I had my dates right...this is the guy who was monitoring my cycle and told me when to trigger! We found another FS. He gave me a photo from the lap - showing the blood clotting out of the tube and the huge mass that was an embryo.

I kept thinking, after all we've been through, what if this baby was finally a healthy one and my dodgy tube stuffed everything up. I was so bloody angry.

Recovery took a few weeks. I was surprised, but later realised, removing an organ is a big thing. 3 of the 4 lap scars have faded but the one above my right tube is still quite red and can feel sore sometimes. It's healed, but i feel it.

I was lucky I'd read some tips the night before the lap about how to deal with it, so I took things very easy. I have a wedge pillow so I was able to sleep sitting up for about a week. A week after surgery, I felt a heap better, so I went and overdid it and ended up flat out exhausted and in pain again. For pain management, I alternated between panadeine forte and ibroprofen.

I'll come back when I think of more. I hope reading this can help others who have been through or are currenty dealing with an ectopic.