OP, its really hard. I had a dear friend who was due just 5 days after I was. We planned our pgs together, it was glorious, until I m/c'd. Her pg continued and I found it really difficult to be around her. Then I was pg again and so it got a tiny bit easier to see her again, but I ended up m/cing that one too, and TBH it then became impossible to be around her. She was so kind and lovely to me and was always quite sensitive to my my feelings, but I was in such a bad place emotionally that everytime I saw her I would burst into tears, quite unintentionally. It was the hurt, the bitterness and sadness from m/cing a second time while she was still pg that was just too much to take.
So to answer your question, I understand how you feel, and it will probably be difficult to be around her and I think you should tell her because she is much more likely to be understanding and sensitive around you if she knows how you feel. My friend gave me the space I needed once she understood how bad I was.
It's not easy. SIL was pg when I had my first miscarriage, due dates 3 months apart. I had to be tough. I didn't want her to feel like they needed to shy away from me and made it very clear from the start how I felt. There were a few instances where it was particularly difficult, mostly due to her being insensitive. I was really worried that when my niece was born, I'd really feel if, but it was okay. I don't know how or why I got through, I guess I figured I just had to.
I smile and feel my heart being ripped out. Recently a friends husband told me they were ttc, my friend would die if she knew but I am close to them both. I am ashamed to admit at first I hoped and hoped they wouldn't get pregnant. How awful and selfish of me, even my DH went"oh no" when I told him. A few days later I am ok, but I know if they get BFP before we do I will be devastated.
I have avoided people, fake smiled, cried my heart out looking at facebook, been angry sad depressed etc.....
So moral is nothing prepares you, nothing makes it easier but its ok to work through it however you need to.
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks