How long do you sign their name for?

[Arimeh]

Thanks guys.

I sent her a text this morning addressed to her, her DH, A, W, Phoebe and H.

I will give her a card when I see her with a little angel attached (charm).

Merry christmas and lots of love and blessings to all the angels.

[NaeNae]

Arimeh - I trhink that is a lovely way to remember their little angel.

I personally do not sign Nikita's name in anything except for cards to DH.What happened with her still upsets quiet a lot of people and I don't want them to feel sad at a time of year that is so joyous for most. If people are being a bit insenitive I remind them in a subtle way though

[Arimeh]

Thanks Nae

I ended up making her the card, and popped it in with the rest of the presents to my sister and her family.

So hopefully when my mum can get down to see her soon, she will open it. I think I said something along the lines of may your dancing in the sunlight always light up our lives or something like that - it was like 6am when I wrote it. Seemed quite poetic at the time!

I dont' think anyone else in my family acknowledged her on xmas day - but I'm glad I did. She's still my niece after all.

[CJF1982]

Arimeh,

I think what you wrote is very beautiful, thoughtful and a lovely way to acknowledge your angel neice.
I would love to hear what your sister thought of it.

[kitten76]

Acknowledgement of her daughter, not only her loss will make a big difference.The card and charm are a lovely idea. It says so much without saying anything at all, IYKWIM.

Some people didnt know what to say to me and most didnt say anything. Honestly that hurt very much. Then one of my close friends gave me an angel charm which I wear on a chain. She didnt have to say anything to me but she acknowledged our daughters birth and how much she meant to us, and that gesture meant everything.

[Arimeh]

CJF - she told my mum to thank me for it, and sent me a text message also saying thank you, and that it was good that someone else in the family remembered - not just them. So I get the feeling nobody else acknowledged her? I think she was touched though - and she's a pretty hard nut my sister!!

Kitten - thank you I think I will keep on acknowledging Phoebe, even though my DH doesn't understand (maybe its a male thing, and the fact that it didn't happen to his immediate family?)

[Inanna]

I think your card is beautiful Mel - & I am sure it made her cry but also warmed her Spirit. As for your question about your DH thinking it all a bit wierd. Not at all imo.

Sadly having had a lot to do with women who have lost babies before birth - it's not uncommon to recognise that child's position in the family by signing their name.

Sometimes a name is the only thing left - & using that name out loud and by writing it - brings that person/child back into the now.

Your sister may always do this - or in time she may let it go. That does not mean she does or does not need more counselling - it just illustrates the different ways that we grieve/remember.

I actually think it shows courage and depth - that regardless of how she will be thought of she stands up and does what she needs to do.

I am sure Phoebe was dancing in the Sunlight - and that her beauty will always remain a special part of your family...

[Michelle71]

I have used a butterfly stamp in pink ink and stamped the inside if the card and written ~CLM~ underneath it. It means something to me, it acknowledges my child but is not too "in your face" for those who may not cope so well.

DH and I always include her in our cards to each other and my Christmas gift from DH was a necklace that included her as well.