IVF and M/C

[Cuddlepie]

Hi ladies,

I had a missed miscarriage on 19th July, the pregnancy is the result of the frozen embyro transfer and it was our second IVF cycle.

After the sad, depressed and emotional phase, now I start to think are there any relations between IVF (especially FET) pregancy and miscarriage rate. My FS told me that rate for m/c is about 20% regardless if its natural or IVF, but still I am wondering...if I start IVF cycle again, what are my chances of having a pregnancy to term? Would I m/c again? Its like a dark cloud hanging over my head...

Have any of you going through IVF, had a m/c but went on with a healthy pregnancy again?

I need some inspirations right now! Bring it on ladies!

thanks

[CeCe]

Hi BeiBei,

I'm really sorry to hear about your loss.

I had a missed m/c at 6 weeks after a fresh IVF cycle. This was my second cycle but my first ever pregnancy. I was devestated and could not contemplate starting IVF again for a few months.

Today we just signed the paper work for cycle 3 and whilst I'm excited about trying again I also worry about getting past the 6 week stage.

I have heard people say that the m/c rate in IVF may be higher purely because the pregnancy is confirmed earlier than some how concieve 'naturally' and don't realise they are pregnant. I'm not sure if this is true or something said to 'make us feel better'.

Sorry I can not give you more positive feedback but in my case I haven't got that far. Good luck with finding inspiration from the other ladies here and with your next attempt.

[Visitor9]

BeiBei,
Hun it is such a tough time to go through IVF only to have this happen. I have lost 2 precious ones after IVF cycles.
But I never wanted to let it beat me, I wanted to win this fight to be a parent and while I had a chance to do it I was going to.
But to this day my little girl is the apple of my eye although how naughty she is (especially in the supermarket infront of our fertility specialist).
I know how easy it is to feel depressed, but to me the best thing I could do was to focus on getting me ready for the next cycle physically and emotionally.
Always here to listen
Bec

[anney]

Hi BeiBei,
sorry you are having to go through this. From everything I have read, your FS is correct, there is no more likelihood that people will miscarry a baby conceived via IVF. Even though I have not had a child via IVF, I am on a few boards with lots of women doing IVF and there are heaps of success stories with people having IVF babies after miscarrying IVF babies.
Having miscarried an IVF baby and a naturally conceived baby, I know that the loss of the IVF baby hurt lots more, as I had invested so much emotion and hope in the IVF cycle and it is such a high when you get that BFP and the low is so bad when you have the loss. So it is completely natural that you have fears. Hope someone can give you some inspirations. Good luck.

[Liviam]

Hi BeiBei,
I am so sorry about the loss of your little angel. My girlfriend had a m/c on IVF then very next IVF cycle fell pg with twins and has just given birth to two beautiful little boys.
I wish you all the luck in your journey to be a mummy.

[Cuddlepie]

Thanks guys for your reply...its always good to hear other people's story and knowing you are not alone...particularly the one with happy ending ...

Cece, it was my very first pregnancy as well, so it was particularly painful...good on you for starting on another stim cycle, let me know how you go...as my next step would be the same, I will have to do another stim cycle. Would be good to compare notes...

Bec, you know you are always an inspiration for me for your courage and the best part is you got what you want at the end...At the moment, focus on future is exactly what I am doing right now, it is much easier than being depressed...I have a plan to exercise my body back into shape and resume all my sports, so I am in best shape to do the next stim cycle...wish me luck!

[MantaRay]

Good luck BeiBei.

I also know someone with 18 month old twins after having an IVF m/c after 2 years on IVF (first pg). For her the m/c was another failure, but for him, he saw it as success in a sense, as at least they finally knew that conception was possible. Maybe that was just what they needed - next cycle was a charm!

[butterfly_warrior]

BeiBei, thanks so much for starting this thread! I'm in the same place as you and also wondering the same things.

After going through 19 months of TTC, discovering we both had fertility issues, IVF, OHSS, simply reaching transfer was a joy in itself. The fact that the transfer worked was simply amazing, and the miscarriage has been a horrible, crushing blow. Especially as I went through a time of denial when I couldn't believe I was actually pregnant and had finally come to accept and believe and then... whammy.

I do think it is important to focus on the future and the next step rather than dwelling on what might have been. But for me, with so many weird things going on in my body I don't think I'm going to be able to go back again until I've had everything checked out.

While working on yourself physically, don't forget to work on your mental state as well. I think I'm so focussed on the mental state that I could easily forget the phsyical aspects of preparing myself for the next cycle.

I'm trying to focus on the positives here - we know that we can produce embryos that work, can stick... we've just got another obstacle to get around, and in some ways it's no different to the other obstacles we have faced along the way which brought us to IVF in the first place.

BW

[Cuddlepie]

BW, I am glad you posted here...as I have been reading your post in the other thread about your appointment and to be honest haven't figured out what to post yet, because that gets me thinking a lot as well...about mental state, about whether you are ready for the next cycle...

To me, the way to deal with it is trying not to think too far down the line, one morning I tempted a little - imagining what it would be like if I see the second line again, it is absolutely terrifying. Since then, I withdrawed down that path, thinking it will be a long road to get there (stim cycle) anyway, I'd better focus getting on with the journey and will cross that bridge when I come to it...who knows how long it will take to get me pregnant again...but at the same time, I can totally understand that your FS wanting to get your mental state into shape before attempting the next cycle (although I agreed with other girls, he could put it in a more empathy way)...

So as confused as you are ATM, I think I take this 'waiting for AF' period as a blessing, maybe it will all work it out itself in the end!

[butterfly_warrior]

As much as Wednesday hurt me at the time, I do know it was necessary. There was an emotional response at first, and once that has cleared I've been able to deal with things in a more rational manner. I suspect that the harshness of what was said came across because I was talking about it when I was still in that emotional state.

Was it necessary? Yes. Would it have worked if he'd been more subtle? No. Sure, it wasn't pleasant, but it was something I needed to hear and something that I would have ignored if it wasn't done in a forceful manner. He's a very astute judge of character and right now I do not feel as though he's done anything wrong at all. From what he has shared with us of his personal life, I can see exactly why he is like he is with some things. If he hadn't been so blunt and direct, I'd have been very likely to go back before I'm really ready - and that would do me no favours at all in the end. It's very much a tough love situation - being cruel to be kind, but I know that I needed it.

You are right - one step at a time and don't get too far ahead of yourself. It will be interesting to see exactly what happens for me in terms of cycles - I suspect AF arriving will be extremely confronting, but probably something I need to face before I'm ready to go again.

As horrible as it is that we are both in this boat, it is good to be able to share our experiences, our thoughts, our pain.

Getting back to the original question - I suspect that if there's any increased chance of miscarrying with IVF, it's probably more related to the underlying condition that made IVF necessary rather than the fact that it was IVF. Make sense?

BW

[Cuddlepie]

BW, I am glad that you have now passed the emotional stage and can look at the situation with new perspective. I don't know whether its lucky for you to have him or him to have a patient like you with sharp observations...at the end of the day, as far as it does the trick, I am happy for you. It is actually surprising that our judgement could be constantly evolving, like my boss always told me, 'if you are not sure about anything, there is always tomorrow morning....you could have a brand new perspective'.

Getting back to the original question - I suspect that if there's any increased chance of miscarrying with IVF, it's probably more related to the underlying condition that made IVF necessary rather than the fact that it was IVF. Make sense?
BW

Totally make sense, but as for my case is 'unexplained infertility', so its just doing my head in a bit...IYKWIM... oh, well, some of the questions in our head probably will never be anwsered anyway...so we just can't be too hard on ourselves, can we?

HAve a good night!

[bokkie]

Hi BeiBei,

I've been away from the computer for a while and I'm so sorry to come back and see this sad news. I really am sorry hun. I haven't mc after IVF before but I have on my one and ony natural conception and I know for me I just needed alot of time to be able to move on. So take all the time you need. And I was so petrified it would happen again but so far its been okay. There's nothing to say it will happen again, your next pregnancy will probably go perfectly but its so natural to be scared out of your mind about it. I'm thinking of you, and here to listen okay. Hugs x

[Ltl Panda]

Hi Beibei

just letting you know, I am thinking of you and wish you all the best and hope this journey of grief is short and the future is full of happiness.

My sister in lay now has a 5 month old baby, last year in march, she lost her baby at 8 weeks, 2.5 moths later she was pregnant again. She grieved and eventually with the help of her loved ones she moved on and saw that these things happen to anybody, and sometimes it was just natures way. She blamed it on her self, was it something she ate, was it something she lifted was it something she took, was it something to do with the polycystic ovaries she had treated many years ago....
My point here is, and as harsh as it may sound as I have not experienced this loss, sometimes its best to not wonder why as there are so many causes. From my understanding, you and I were diagnosed with unexplained infertility meaning that there is nothing physically wrong that is obvious, this means that what happen darling is just something that did not go as planned.

I hope out of all this you come out stronger and your plans for a family will not be interrupted by all this.

take care hun, hope to continually read on how much better you are doing.

[Cuddlepie]

Thanks Bokkie for checking on me, it has been hard to go through this but I know I will be ok...like you said, I just need a little bit more time...on the other hand, I am so glad that you are doing well, I hope your NT scan went ok since last time we chatted...love to hear from you because knowing you are growing bigger belly gives me hope....

Panda, thanks for your thoughtful post, I think I have left the worst past behind and start to look forward to the future...have planned a two weeks holiday to get away and plan to pumper myself and get fit...so I am really looking forward to that...you are right, sometimes thinking too much can do your head in, I am trying to focus on planning the near future to start TTC soon...

[Carmen2]

Bei Bei, so sorry to hear your loss and the emotional feelings you have to deal with. I truly wish you all the best in TTC. Only this time, nothing will interrupt besides the growing belly with a bub kicking away! Hope to hear some good news from you soon. Hugs