roosa--You're thinking isn't wrong or weird--I, too, feel like I won't even begin to be happy again until, not only I know I'm pg again, but I'm past the 1st trimester! I think it's a completely normal way to feel after something like this happens. It's personal for each woman how long she waits to ttc, but in my case I wanted to start ttc right away. Not to replace the baby that I lost, but I couldn't (and still can't) stand the idea of not being pg anymore. I miss it to the point where it drives me crazy sometimes. But some days are better than others, your grief will fluctuate daily--or hourly in my case! It's been 39 days for me, and I'm not even close to being over it. It's not a curse, it's a natural reaction for a person to have after suffering such a great loss. We'll get through this, I promise--we all will! God bless you, I wish you peace....
Thanks so much for your post! It is nice to feel a bit more normal, knowing I am not the only one going through these feelings and thoughts. I loved being pregnant and I miss it so much and I miss looking forward to actually giving birth and holding that little precious baby in my hands (but not at 19 weeks). I have better days and then I have worse days. It seems that the reality of what has happened it hitting me harder lately. It also seems to get harder to actually be around other people cause they ask me how I am doing and I can hear on their tone of voice that they are expecting I will say better when really I am feeling worse. What do you do? I can't quite handle how some people look at me when I tell them the truth about how I am feeling. Do you just start lying? I know I will get through this, but I also know it will take a long time and that I will never fully loose the pain. Is that impossible for outsiders to accept? Gosh, I am so confused.

Karin