Jane I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Andrew. He loves you very much and I know you will both find some comfort in each other.
Over the last few months we have shared a special journey together and I hope with all my heart that your strength will see you through this. I know you will find great support from others here who have experienced the same heartache.
Your angel will be with you forever and will one day bring you happiness again xx
Jane, I am so sorry for your loss. I too elected to miscarry naturally. Even if you do go down this path there is nothing to say if you change your mind you can't ask for a D&C from your doctor. I guess the only thing in my mind would be do you want to be miscarrying over Christmas. If you feel it won't make a difference either way to how you feel then you have probably made the right decision. HUge to you at this very difficult time.
Oh Jane....i'm so so so sorry hun. Great big hugs to you and DH. I can't say too much more than what the other girls have already said, but please know that i'm thinking of you...xxxx
Jane, I elected to have a D&C, I didn't discuss any other option with my OB. Personally, I couldn't wait to have it done and although it was a difficult day I am so glad I did. We found out Tuesday afternoon, saw our OB Wed morning and had the D&C that afternoon. I will always be grateful to him for fitting me on to his operating list that day as I just didn't feel like I could wait. I wanted to start the process of really grieving and eventually moving on and trying for another baby.
Obviously everyone feels very different about this, and it is entirely your choice. You have to do what's right for you, and you can change your mind if you want to.
Jane, I am truly feeling for you and your DH at this time. I remember feeling like we were stuck in a little time warp and like I just wanted to go to sleep for about a month in the hope that I wouldn't feel my heart breaking when I woke up. It is completely natural that you feel your body lied to you but there is absolutely nothing you could've done. I have unfortunately had two missed m/c's (don't stress it is highly unlikely to happen twice- I was just LUCKY) and I opted for d&c's on both occasions as I was not naturally miscarrying. It is not the most pleasant experience but it gave me a point of finality from which to try to move forward. I think your wait and see approach is a good one though as you know you have the option of a d&c available to you.
Please stick around as the girls on these M&L threads are just amazing women who can all empathise. There is nothing that is not SAFE to say or ask here. I wish you and DH all the best on your journey and you will be in my thoughts. Please let us know how you are travelling. xoxoxo
Jane,
I am so very sorry for the loss of your baby. I am sending you all of my love and hugs.
The decision to have a natural miscarriage or a D&C is a very personal one.
If you need help or support through this time I am here...
Oh Jane this is terrible, I'm so sorry this happened. It's a terrible shock so please take it easy. I still get that shocked feeling when I remember finding myself in the same situation last year.
Janeo I am so sorry for the loss of your precious baby. Right now it is a nightmare but it does get better.
We will always miss our angel babies who didn't make it into our arms but they live in our hearts forever.Take care and I hope the future holds much happiness in regards to more children.
With regards to dealing with people who you told before 12wks - look on it as friends who will love and support you through this .Accept that with friends who care it is better they know why you are grieving than to grieve in silence.
It is nothing you did and nothing you need to worry about honey.Though yes it hard to face people.
Though I know that many may mean well in the things they say, but most of the time they make no sense to us in our grieving or say silly things too.
SIDS & Kids NSW have a beautiful helpful booklet about miscarriage that explains many things you might have to deal with and feelings/emotions etc.
I can PM you the 1800 number to get the booklet if you like or get and send to you.
I am very sorry for your loss - I found out at my 10week scan that my baby died a few weeks earlier. I too couldn't understand how my body could lie to me for weeks - I still can't.
Janeo....massive to you and Andrew. I am so so so sorry for your loss and can't imagine what you must be going through. I know that your little angel will forever be looking after you and your miracle will be here very soon. I wish you all the very best during this time and just be surrounded by your loved ones. Please try not to worry about telling those people you have told, just look after yourself, those people - your friends - will be there for you no matter what.
I don't know what advice I can give you. But a friend of mine is going through this as well after finding at her 12 weeks scan the baby had stopped growing - she had no signs of bleeding, but opted for the curette.
You just do what is best for you sweetie and just make sure you look after yourself and take it easy.
Thank you everyone... Im having a different day today kind of feel numb cant cry cant really think.. I lost blood last night so i think that isnt helping the way i feel.. I passed a few stringy bits is that the sack??
To the people who did it naturally did you get intense pain one night then the nest day have none is this normal?? I had really bad period pain last night and bad back pain after taking some pain killers it eased enough for me to sleep but i have had no pains today just some blood... The dr i saw at casualty wants me to come in today not sure why the women couldnt tell me so i will be asking him some questions to...
Thank you again for your support you guys are all amazing and strong women.. My partner Andrew has been amazing but sometimes you need to talk without words but in writing iykwim... My mum is getting me a journal so i can put my feelings down...
I'm so sorry for your loss,Janeo
Lossing a child is.. something that you can't even explain with words is a deep sadness but also it's the strongest test of faith, I completely understand you but I'm sure God is saving something better to you and your angel is watching down to you proudly, I'll be praying for you and your family
Jane :hugs:I have experienced two early miscarriages. My Angels were 5-6 weeks so a little smaller than your Angel. I had quite strong period type pain for a day and then there was very little discomfort. The blood loss was heavier than a *normal* period. However the blood loss was minimal in the first couple of days.
Your angel was so very tiny and those stringy bits, tissue and clots are difficult to identify. I imagine that your doctor will do another u/s and check your levels but it does sound that your miscarriage is progressing.
It helped me to put a hot pack on my back and on my belly - you may find this helpful too. Drink lots of fluids and rest as much as possible. Your body is working very hard...
I am so sorry again Jane for the sadness and pain you are feeling.
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to you at this very difficult time.
Trish
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