I'm sorry for your loss. Its sounds like it was a terrible time for you guys, and that things haven't eased up all that much.
I'm a lucky one that does fall pregnant at the drop of a hat it seems, but I have also suffered a loss - a missed misscarriage at 11w. Like you, we had just started telling everyone.
It was a hard time, and in my mind the only thing that would take my pain away was to get pregnant again as quickly as possible. I guess its the whole getting back on the horse thing.
Even now though - 9m down the track and 6m into another pregnancy, I still have pangs of heartbreak, as anyone who has suffered a loss like this will tell you - healing takes time. And this time varies from person to person.
IVF is a pretty tough road to go down - so I think I completely understand you when you say you aren't ready to try that yet. Part of being a parent is being constantly faced with fears about losing a child. Illness, Medical Conditions, Accidents could all take a child from a parent at any time, so what you are feeling - the fear of what if, is part of your journey to be a parent.
Its really hard when people around you are pregnant. They may understand some of what you are feeling, so perhaps an option would be to say to them "I am truly happy for you, but its hard to put that out there when I am having my own issues with losing a baby". I dont know if thats the sort of thing you can say, but maybe it would help.

Again - I am really sorry for your loss. I hope we can offer the support you need.