Michelle: you know what, it's ok for you to be sad infront of the kids, it's ok to show them that you miss Daddy. It's ok to feel that you can't do it all. There are no rules for this. There is no way you can possibly know what today, tomorrow even right now might bring. You are in the intense raw phase of grief. It must hurt, not just emotionally, but physically hurt. I know it's different but when I lost Harry I physically yearned for him, my arms ached to hold him. Allow that hurt to come. It won't consume you, I know you are a tough cookie and I know that you will rise above the pain with time.

Give youself time to immerse yourself in this grief. I think that is healthy. Once the kids are in bed have a bath and just purge the pain of the day. Sob, pray, meditate do whatever it is you need to get up and carry on tomorrow.

I'm not going to tell you it will be ok for right now it isn't bloody ok, it's bloody terrible. What I will say is that those little people are the reason you will get through this. They will give you all the strength you could ever need.

With all my love
Spring