Jayne - the car trip is only short stints that I can do ok. The trip to the park today was a bad choice. My pelvis is so sore after doing a little too much last night and there were too many Daddies and their babies playing Even worse, I took them to the park that Greg used to always take them to. Poor monkeys had to deal with a blubbering Mummy who realised that she might think she is ok but in reality she isn't.

There is an ache that I just can't ease and it hurts so much. I am sore, uncomfortable, feeling very alone and so incredibly sad. I miss his cuddles, his voice, his teasing. I just miss him and I hate that I will never get to hold him or talk to him ever again.

I'm so sorry to dump this. I think I need to journal instead ..............