Chained to a wheel

[Smoke Jaguar]

this can be such a challenging time in a woman's life! I know it's hard to think about - picture yourself if 5 years' time, remembering how difficult it was and wondering how long it's been since it was like that cos you're not in that space anymore! Actually, it doesn't even take 5 years to get to that point - DS is 2.5 yo and whilst I remember a baby who didn't want to sleep for long, it seems like a lifetime ago.
First, don't be afraid to 'rely' on your wrap. When I finally was lent my HAB, I absolutely relied on it to get stuff done whilst DS slept for an hour or two, finally!
Second thing is that recently I've been doing some reading into Elimination Communication, which I want to practice for the next one (which as far as I know hasn't even been conceived yet). I'm not saying you need to do this, before I go on - I read something in my readings that was very illuminating. Part of his waking may be that he's wetting himself or needing to do a poo and he is letting you know. Babies are born not wanting to soil themselves and we train them out of this by keeping them in nappies (because of our lifestyles, where we are often in a situation that doesn't allow us to pull a nappy off to let baby 'go' in a nearby bucket etc). I have read in various sources anecdotes about babies who ceased crying immediately after waking up and being allowed to toilet, or to have a nappy change, and gradually sleeping for longer when they knew their parents were on the same page and would see to them having a dry nappy on at all times (or no nappy, whichever method they were using).
Anyway, my point is that even if you're not into EC, it could well be that after that amount of time in bed, your little one needs to do a wee or poo and doesn't want to let it go because of the discomfort of having to eliminate in a nappy. Some babies are more sensitive to this than others. The anecdotes suggest that there are lots of babies who's undiagnosed 'unsettledness' has disappeared with more attentive nappy changes (or just not using them, where practical). I'm suggesting keeping a real eye on nappies, disposable or cloth, and when your baby is really upset, pull the nappy off and give him a chance to be clean. The worst that can happen is that you discover this is not the problem and you can discount this as a reason!
Now, I'm going to second the ABA idea and suggest that not only you call them about the feeding, but also go along to your local group meeting. There will be babies of varying ages, there will be first time mothers as well as mothers of more than one baby. This was fantastic for me when DS was little because my mothers group wasn't formed till he was 4 months old and I started my ABA group when DS was 2 weeks old. I loved the wealth of experience my group offered, as well as the company of mummies to babies the same age as DS.
I was able to ignore all the 'shoulds' and the 'rod for your back' comments because my Booby Club was 100% behind me and believed in my instinctual skill to mother my baby against the prevailing wisdom of routines, sleep schools etc.
Anyway, you're in such a fuzz right now and it sounds like you need to give yourself a break from the self-beatings. I've known women here on BB to recommend and swear by deciding on a day to just nude up and stay in bed with their baby (also nuded up to a nappy or less) and let the baby have unrestricted access to boob and cuddles for that whole day. Clear the decks in your diary for that day so that you're under no pressure to be anywhere or to be anything to anyone except mummy to your baby.
It really sounds like you want to reconnect with your baby and the pressure to conform to all the 'should' messages we get from health nurses and baby training books is overwhelming you, hun. Your baby actually knows a hell of a lot more than he will ever be aware of and all he is doing is responding to some very compelling messages his body is giving him...we just have to trust and figure out what is going to alleviate their discomfort...it's not easy, and we're here to support you whilst you go on this journey.
Sorry for throwing more things into the mix. There is no 'one size fits all' method for babies. Similar signs and behaviours from other babies don't necessarily mean the problem is the same - just the reactions to the problem are.
again - you are doing the best you can and that is all you can ask of yourself, and your baby wants just that, you and your best (not someone else's best). You are his world, hun - it starts and ends with you, as far as he's concerned, and that's just how it is
ETA: was thinking about it some more in the shower and forgot to mention that hair falling out at this stage is completely normal! During pregnancy your hair doesn't fall out and some months after the birth the ones that would have fallen out otherwise start to shed. I lost heaps of hair (not that I cared, cos my hair is normally incredibly, impossibly thick!) at this time, and I had been forewarned that it would happen, too, from the wonderful mummies I got to know who had previous children.
I would really caution against using baby training books at this stage. For both of your wellbeing in the short and long term, it can lead to maladaptive behaviour if you override whatever he's trying to tell you by teaching him to ignore it and to 'self-settle' instead. It's very rewarding the first time you pick up on something your baby is telling you and you realise that you've done something to alleviate their stress, just by listening to them and trusting.
This last bit may attract flak from other members and I'm posting it because this site's original aim was for gentle, instinctual parenting (as a reaction to PND and the disconnectedness from instinct and your baby that baby training can create, by the site's creator).
Many women have walked the path you are walking now. Knowing that may or may not inspire you to get through this time more peacefully and patiently.
This time with your baby is such a blip on the timescale of his life and the time that you will be actively caring for him. If you wish away this time, you also wish away the precious elements that are embedded in it that you don't get at any other time of your child's life. I'd urge you to speak to a counsellor to keep on top of your feelings (especially as you describe yourself as being socially isolated - not a natural situation for human mummies), make sure you don't have a form of PND and get into some kind of sync with Jude, who just wants you to be you and no-one else.
You have empathy here a squillion times over in BB!