One even said that her kids (younger than my DD) sleep through because she "put in the hard work in the early days".... what, so I didn't "work hard" enough?!!!!
I am sorry people are so insensitive. Yes, listening to my baby cry for hours WOULD be hard work, in fact it would break my heart, so I didn't do it. I am not dissing anyone who does use CIO and strict routines etc, but geez, cut us all some slack if we choose not to!

I remember 16 months being tricky, because DD wasn't able to be reasoned with, and yet was so active and into everything.

I honestly think you need to look at your sleeping arrangements. Maybe your DD hates the cot? Mine couldn't stand it and slept heaps better when we switched to a bed. I also think she wants to be close to you - which is normal and understandable (my 26 month old sleeps right up next to me, including nap times). Our routine is that I go to bed with her. Yes it means you 'get nothing else done'...but honestly, life WITH sleep is so much easier, and you suddenly have the energy to do things with child in tow.

Can you trial popping her in your bed for day sleeps, so breastfeed to sleep and then nap with her? And then at night, would you consider putting her in a bed in your room? Or even getting a double for you and her to sleep in?

I really hope you can find things that work for you. You are NOT alone in this. We're all here listening and supporting you...please call on us if you need (I'm in melbourne btw).